I have PTSD and, though my experiences/reactions may be different than your wife's, I find that not asking "what caused that Flashback this time" is helpful. Just knowing that I can have an episode without critique is important. Also, it is very common, I believe, for a victim to feel they have allowed themselves to be assaulted. After my assault I sought out the company of men in order to get power back and allowed some near me that I didn't want because I went submissive.