Hi everyone,
My husband was diagnosed with c-ptsd last year. Prior to this life was a struggle, and we separated for a while due to not being able to understand his behaviour towards me, and his lack of willingness to address conflict differently. I was always walking on eggshells as anything could trigger him. I left, and prior to the diagnosis believed it was abuse.
In June last year he had an episode of dissociation where he became threatening and violent. He accused me, and told people close to him, he’d seen me kissing someone else. This did not happen, not anything even remotely close. It took me a really long time to convince him that I had not done what he believed to be true (my sister and her husband were with me the whole time, so fortunately I had some witnesses to this).
Since the diagnosis, c-ptsd with dissociative episodes, I’ve been better able to understand. The diagnosis was in July last year, and he was advised on pharmaceutical and therapeutic treatment. The psychiatrist also gave him some Cbt type exercises that really helped for a while. He said he didn’t want drugs, so we had discussed and agreed on therapy.
However, fast forward to now and he has not sought treatment. We did, however, start couple’s therapy. We had three sessions, and at the fourth he decided he wants a separation. I know he was triggered prior to this by visiting my parents in April (he has a love hate relationship with them).
What I also noticed, beginning of March, was that he was starting to drink a lot of alcohol, and had just been promoted at work, which led to a lot of pressure as they are short of staff and he is now in charge,
The separation came to me as a real shock, I feel completely blindsided, I was his wife one second and completely vilified the next- to the point where he barely says hello to me now. The more I research the more confused I become as a lot of sites would suggest not making permanent decisions in a time of heightened stress and anxiety. We’ve been on this rollercoaster in the past, where he goes from loving me to hating me, and a lot of the time I’ve been unsure why or what I could have done to cause the sentiment.
Other than being really upset, I’m really worried about him. I think he’s in a really dark place but won’t let me in. Says we’ve been trying for years, but has not sought the prescribed treatment, so fundamentally other than the diagnosis nothing has changed in the past year.
Any advice on how to support him, and save our marriage would be really appreciated. TIA
My husband was diagnosed with c-ptsd last year. Prior to this life was a struggle, and we separated for a while due to not being able to understand his behaviour towards me, and his lack of willingness to address conflict differently. I was always walking on eggshells as anything could trigger him. I left, and prior to the diagnosis believed it was abuse.
In June last year he had an episode of dissociation where he became threatening and violent. He accused me, and told people close to him, he’d seen me kissing someone else. This did not happen, not anything even remotely close. It took me a really long time to convince him that I had not done what he believed to be true (my sister and her husband were with me the whole time, so fortunately I had some witnesses to this).
Since the diagnosis, c-ptsd with dissociative episodes, I’ve been better able to understand. The diagnosis was in July last year, and he was advised on pharmaceutical and therapeutic treatment. The psychiatrist also gave him some Cbt type exercises that really helped for a while. He said he didn’t want drugs, so we had discussed and agreed on therapy.
However, fast forward to now and he has not sought treatment. We did, however, start couple’s therapy. We had three sessions, and at the fourth he decided he wants a separation. I know he was triggered prior to this by visiting my parents in April (he has a love hate relationship with them).
What I also noticed, beginning of March, was that he was starting to drink a lot of alcohol, and had just been promoted at work, which led to a lot of pressure as they are short of staff and he is now in charge,
The separation came to me as a real shock, I feel completely blindsided, I was his wife one second and completely vilified the next- to the point where he barely says hello to me now. The more I research the more confused I become as a lot of sites would suggest not making permanent decisions in a time of heightened stress and anxiety. We’ve been on this rollercoaster in the past, where he goes from loving me to hating me, and a lot of the time I’ve been unsure why or what I could have done to cause the sentiment.
Other than being really upset, I’m really worried about him. I think he’s in a really dark place but won’t let me in. Says we’ve been trying for years, but has not sought the prescribed treatment, so fundamentally other than the diagnosis nothing has changed in the past year.
Any advice on how to support him, and save our marriage would be really appreciated. TIA
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