I confronted my abusive asshole sperm donor

[Supervixn]

Good job Eve! Speak your truth, girl!!

 

[EveHarrington]

Tonight there is a church event.

I hope he and his whore aren’t there.

My priest already knows about how he used to beat my mom. (Broken ribs)

I haven’t told her about what he did to me. Or how I reported him. Or how he beats animals too. (Crying for my dog as he has her and I may never see her again.)

I hate him.

 

[Scarlet13]

Can you rescue your dog?
Maybe get your mom to help you get him?

 

[Supervixn]

I feel your anger and it is 100% justifiable. I don't want it to consume you.

Let us know how the church service goes

 

[EveHarrington]

Can you rescue your dog?

No, I can’t take care of her right now.

I feel your anger and it is 100% justifiable. I don't want it to consume you.

Let us know how the...

He didn’t go, thank goodness.

I ran out of spoons though and I’m about to crash.

Otherwise it went well.

 

[Recovery4Me]

Coming in a little late to your thread, but listening in astonishment for the strides that you have made within self respect. I am so proud of you for rewriting the script in your empowerment! Congratulations on your courage and victory!:hug:

 

[EveHarrington]

It kind of annoys me that people (Mom, therapist) talk about things like

“the next time you go over to your dad’s house....”

or

“the relationship you have with your dad going forward...”

No.

Stop.

I’m serious.

I can’t continue to abuse myself in this way.

Hear me out.

It’s like knowingly sticking my hand in a fire.

I’ve been burned too much.

I cannot allow myself to get hurt anymore.

Enough.

I’m done.

 

[Lost Marbles]

I open-handed slapped my bio-father in the face in the a.m. years ago

Many long years ago when I was a young teenager (13 to be exact), when my father was trying to drag my ass into the house so he could beat me without the neighbors seeing, I tried to push him down the basement stairs. Unfortunately, by this time he had already managed to disarticulate my right ankle, tore my right Achilles tendon and hyper-extend both my elbows.

 

[Supervixn]

Unfortunately, by this time he had already managed to disarticulate my right ankle, tore my right Achilles tendon and hyper-extend both my elbows.

Geez... bless you...

 

[Deleted member 37085]

@Lost Marbles...so very sad to hear that you too were beaten...I hit him...he was getting drunk @10a.m.ish...and I then quickly jumped into my car...and left. This is was at the time when I was just beginning (tip of the iceberg) to realize that I'd been severely abused, etc. And had he caught up with me...I would've tried to beat his *ss! And I wish I'd known then...what I've uncovered now about him! Boy...I would most definitely...handle him differently...gloves off...so to speak!

I'm now still dealing with a lot of fall-out rage...and he's dead and gone now. Prior to his death, and way before I got to the understanding that I'd been horrifically abused, I tried to get him to talk with me...and he wasn't having any of it! I'm grateful that I don't have to try and put up with his insanity now...beyond grateful! Hugs for you...so sorry that you too were hurt so badly by your father.

 

[Recovery4Me]

@EveHarrington have you discussed no contact with your T? It is an acceptable method of stabilizing emotionally and prevents possible future incidents.

As my father was a predator on many levels, it was something that I did for over a decade until I rescued him from near death. On his deathbed later, I called to offer forgiveness...mainly so he could go in peace and I could drop the stone. So no contact worked well for me.

@JadesJewel and @Lost Marbles :hug: I am sorry for your pain in childhood both physically and mentally. Often I do not hit the like button on violence because of the intense sadness that I feel for such circumstances. However, I do truly understand as I lived through it too.

May you find peace as you journey forward as I found that carrying hatred was more toxic to me than my years of healing the memories from his heinous acts. We are more than what was done to us...so much more.:hug:

 

[Lost Marbles]

I'm now still dealing with a lot of fall-out rage...

I know the feeling, the rage that is. My father is still alive, I just refuse to have contact with him.