D
Deleted member 26314
My boyfriend gets that I'm not the easiest person to date, but he understands (or at least tries to) everything I talk to him about and such, but I don't think he understands that I genuinely don't know how to care for him. I love him and I'd be there for him no matter what, the love is there and it's not as though I'm not affectionate/intimate with him or anything like that.
For instance, right now we both have a lot going on. He's starting exams at college which is putting a lot of stress on him. I'm starting therapy again which is putting a lot of stress and worry on me at the same time. He's much more of the caring type so it comes naturally to him to ask me about how I am constantly, which I'll admit, I like because I like having someone I can talk to. But, I don't do the same as well. I try and ask how college is going or how exams are, but I don't know what else I can actually do to show that I am caring for him.
We made an agreement that I wouldn't tell him as much during exam times, as in I wouldn't text him if I started panicking or something like that. He agreed but it's not working. I don't know how, but he can tell when I'm not okay which means he's looking after me constantly and I barely get the chance to make it all about him. It's always about how I slept or how I am doing in general, or whatever. It's never really about him and I hate it, but he has someway of avoiding anything that has to do with him. Obviously when he is upset or annoyed or something, I can talk to him and cheer him up or sort it out, but when it's just exam stress and things like that, I just come to a halt.
I blocked out most of my feelings involving caring or showing that kind of care towards people when I went through my own traumatic experiences, so I don't know how to get it back. I want to, I really do.
For instance, right now we both have a lot going on. He's starting exams at college which is putting a lot of stress on him. I'm starting therapy again which is putting a lot of stress and worry on me at the same time. He's much more of the caring type so it comes naturally to him to ask me about how I am constantly, which I'll admit, I like because I like having someone I can talk to. But, I don't do the same as well. I try and ask how college is going or how exams are, but I don't know what else I can actually do to show that I am caring for him.
We made an agreement that I wouldn't tell him as much during exam times, as in I wouldn't text him if I started panicking or something like that. He agreed but it's not working. I don't know how, but he can tell when I'm not okay which means he's looking after me constantly and I barely get the chance to make it all about him. It's always about how I slept or how I am doing in general, or whatever. It's never really about him and I hate it, but he has someway of avoiding anything that has to do with him. Obviously when he is upset or annoyed or something, I can talk to him and cheer him up or sort it out, but when it's just exam stress and things like that, I just come to a halt.
I blocked out most of my feelings involving caring or showing that kind of care towards people when I went through my own traumatic experiences, so I don't know how to get it back. I want to, I really do.
