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I don't think my therapist listens 😕

I mean, me and my pdoc/T stopped caring about diagnosis a while back. I’m not sure when it was exactly…but there comes a point, very often with complex trauma, where it isn’t necessary helpful to turn much on the point of diagnosis.

I still need to have an ‘official’ diagnosis for one of my medications. But that’s about the extent of it being helpful.

If I was to concern myself with my “official diagnosis”, I would be facing a shopping list, thanks to the hot mess that the DSM has become.

But, having gotten to know me, and the way my trauma has affected me, the path forward with my pdoc at this point in treatment is irrespective of whatever label is currently fitting. And moving forward, the approach we take with my treatment will necessarily have to stay fairly dynamic, rather than fixed around “this your diagnosis, so this the treatment”. Because my treatment needs have changed every damn year I’ve been in treatment, and will likely continue to do so.

Diagnosis is valuable.

That said, I have a lot of time these days for trauma therapists in particular who choose to not get too hung up on the diagnosis. Ts who are comfortable with the vastly different ways that the consequences of trauma play out pathologically, the dynamic way that treatment needs to shift depending on a number of unfixed factors.

Trauma therapists need to be able to treat the patient in front of them. Because we may all come with one diagnosis, but the treatment required from one patient to the next, one appointment to the next, varies hugely.

I think it’s a bit rough to call this T a moron or such. It’s entirely consistent with humanistic psychotherapy to be not be all that fussed about getting a diagnosis fast and fixed.
I think that diagnosis might be useful in the beginning of the therapy as it it really scary to live with symptoms that none seems understand. But I get that later on it might be good idea try to beyond diagnosis are we are much more than our diagnosis. Still if T from the beginning refuses to talk which diagnosis might explain my symptoms, I might just want to find another T
 
Thanks for your support guys.

My psy listened to my point of view

He took on board. Went through all my symptoms that I've been showing and stated that I do in fact warrant an assessment for possible diagnosis.

He admitted that he hadn't been fully present with me.

They said that they don't like labels. I get that. But I need clarity, I need to understand why I am like this. What made me like this.

I don't relate to anybody, I don't trust anybody, I just feel like a square peg with nowhere to go cause its all round holes.

I appreciate all the support yous have given me this far, and the courage you have given me to open up and be honest, completely transparent.

I will update with the assessment results.
🩵🩵🩵
 
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