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I Don't Want To...

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I don't want to lose my T. I don't want to terminate before I'm ready. I don't want to transition to a new T. I don't want my boat rocked.

I don't want to think about what I can't get out of my f*cking head. I don't want to think about those dark days. I don't want to conflate my T with Leigh. They are different. It is not the same.

I don't want to be in the snowglobe. I don't want to be left alone. I don't want to be reminded of past betrayals and abandonment.

I don't want to be so dependent. I don't want to be so needy. But I don't want to open up and trust someone and then be left alone with my memories swirling in the snowglobe.

I don't want to go in to work today. But I will. I need to avoid avoiding.
 
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