I Feel Like A Failure

[WesternSky]

Sailorgirl, I don't think I'm at a point in my life where I can change careers. I don't have the skills to do anything else and I can't afford to go back to school. Even if I could, it would be met with skepticism and disappointment by everyone I know and love.

You're right, it is the economy and I'm not sure what else I can do. I put myself out there over and over again trying to network. I had professionals in the field tell me that my resume is right on track, my interview skills are great, there's just one problem: no opportunities. I know that you often get leads through the people you know. Everyone tells me sorry, there's just no openings. Everything was a lie. This is reality in all its unbearable hopelessness.

What do I want? A way out.

 

[Sailorgal]

I put myself out there over and over again trying to network. I had professionals in the field tell me that my resume is right on track, my interview skills are great, there's just one problem: no opportunities. I know that you often get leads through the people you know. Everyone tells me sorry, there's just no openings.

It is frustrating that you have spent so much time and money on your dream. But if the opportunities aren't there, or because now even a PhD is the minimum requirement, what do you do. Again, why do you think doing something outside the field you studied is wrong?

If you feel that one job is the only thing you can do, you're limiting yourself. Nothing is forever and that's the point. Sometimes it's not the job itself we like, it's certain aspects of it like helping people, of research, being creative. What exactly do you love about the field you want to be in?

 

[Sailorgal]

I was effective in my work and had the good sense to leave my job due to my need to deal with my own stuff.

Bratt,
I really respect your actions for several reasons. For one, being true to yourself, and in turn, thinking of your kids. Secondly, being true to your passion to help others. Being a great counselor is more than the degrees but being a living example if it. :)

I hope you will regain your memory back, hopefully being back in it will jump start it for you. You're very brave for stepping back out as my background is solely business so personal life isn't sonething people know about lest yoh disclose it.

I hope your kids have been influnced by your drive and perseverence. :)

My interview weng so-so today. Hoping for the best as well.

 

[mamachick]

Thanks Sailorgal. Please keep me posted on the job you interviewed for. I have my fingers crossed for you.
My kids have been influenced positively but now they are grown. Time for me.

 

[WesternSky]

I feel it is wrong because it invalidates the sacrifices my family and I made to get that degree. It might be different if I was in the field for awhile and then decided to change, but to not even use the degree at all? Even if I could switch, no one would take me seriously anymore.

The field isn't my dream. The activities I care about aren't career-material so I don't really have a dream job or passion to follow. I was the last of my friends to make a plan for my future or pick a major because there was nothing I wanted to do. I chose it because it was something I could live with, am good at, and would be stable enough to support me. I'm trying to be a librarian. I suppose I like helping people and finding things.

I can't think of anything else I can do with my life. I used to think that if I had to spend every day in a cubicle-type office from 9-5 that I would go insane. Now even that would be preferable to washing dogs for minimum wage.

 

[Tinyflame]

(((((WesternSky)))), can only think concentrate on what you do have positive in your life, and keep perseveering. Having the education you do will help and protect you in the long run. Even if it's a springboard.

Best of luck Sailorgal and Bratt, fingers and toes crossed and wishes coming your way :hug: .

 

[Sailorgal]

I feel it is wrong because it invalidates the sacrifices my family and I made to get that degree.

When you work hard to pursue something and it all changes direction, yes it's frustrating. However, it's not wrong and you shouldn't see it that way. Disappointed and frustrated and feel like you let yourself down and family, sure that's typical. But just because you go in one direction and that door doesn't open the time you want doesn't make other doors wrong.

I had a manager who worked in the circus when he was in college and majored in marine biology. Uh.....he hasn't been near water except taking his kids to the beach!

Don't beat yourself up WS! You are obviously dedicated and have a passion for learning/books (taking a guess there) so just keep your eyes open to all possibilities.

(((Junebug)))
Thanks....I hate talking to HR recruiters because they don't hire the way Managers want! We have often joked about it. My bosses always used to say, "I don't care about anything else except - can they SELL!" LOL

 

[mamachick]

I think it is really important for all of us to do an honest inventory and identify our strengths. Honestly, if I did that, I would be more of a negotiator or comsumer advocate. People are always calling me to help them resolve issues, mediate, advocate, negotiate for things such as a defective major purchase, divorce, services, etc. All favors of course. My daughter is finishing law school but is also certified in mediation. I have considered. Does not take much training-I think 2 days for certification.

 

[Sailorgal]

I think it is really important for all of us to do an honest inventory and identify our strengths.

This is really important whether it's for work, relationships, or anything else. I think for us with PTSD, it's even MORE critical as we venture back out into the wild.

Honestly, if I did that, I would be more of a negotiator or comsumer advocate.

Excellent traits for someone in the counseling field!

All favors of course.

It's true that helping people don't always pay off! :)

I made a big blunder today on my interview. I got the stupid and dreadful "where do you see yourself in 5 years question." It's the most idiotic question on earth because there is no right or wrong answer and HR believes that this psychology tells you EVERYTHING about this person. I didn't care and told her, "I don't know. I've traveled the world and know that you have to be open to any and every opportunity." I refuse to put myself in a box and give them pat answers for above average wages. "Yes ma'am, I see myself growing in your company and kissing corporate butt and working as a slave as you falsely advertised...blah blah blah." I don't regret what I said for a second!

 

[mamachick]

So true. I hate those canned questions. Wanna say, knocked up, on drugs, and collecting public funds for my yung uns.

I admit, I am not very good at this. After not working for years while raising kids, a friend, Director of agency kept begging me to take a job while I was waiting to get into a masters program. After graduating and being licensed, I was hired on for a counselor position. Also, where I did my internship, I was also hired on part time.

I just hate interviews.

 

[mamachick]

Im not a salesperson. I am what I am. I need to be real. I have trouble selling myself. There are so many areas in my field, ie children, behavioral specialist, agency, home and school environment, trauma, autism specialist, couples, family therapy, etc. We all have strong suits, but not in all areas generally. So finding a good match is so hard. This was a good one, but oh well.....still no call...

I am usually pretty insightful and have a good feel after interview too...I missed the mark on this one.

 

[Sailorgal]

I often hear that within 2 minutes their minds are made up. That's within meeting you. Phone is different. I just wasn't in a mood to be all perky and treat it like a once in a lifetime job!

Any other leads for you Brat?