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I Gotta Move To Get Help.

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JackAndy

New Here
But I can't move.

I live in a foreign country where they don't really do psychiatry (just unlicensed, non-medical counseling which is $200 a session) and people don't talk about their mental problems. I feel like it would be beneficial for me to go to a psychiatrist or something to try some kind of therapy or anxiety medication. My life isn't that bad. I don't have nightmares, nothing that bad ever even really happened to me. It's just anxiety and I feel like a crazy person because it's completely subconscious. It's just getting worse and I get these twitches now or these jerks, like sometimes every couple of seconds. It depends on the stressfulness of the situation. So I feel like I'm helpless in this situation. I don't know if I can give myself therapy or watch some videos or something to not have PTSD, but I can't go to a psychiatrist for at least a year. After a year I can move. I want to try some pills but I don't know what to take and everybody says to not self-medicate. Right now I just end up drowning myself in alcohol. So if I could get some pills that had the same effect or better, I wouldn't need to drink. What's worse? Whatever consequences could happen from ordering some pills over the Internet or continuing to drink? Technically it wouldn't be against the law so that's not really a concern. I realize that whatever advice I get from here is not medical advice from a doctor, but I am still interested in getting your advice. It seems like some of these doctors know a lot less about what medications work than these patients do because some of the patients have tried literally all of the medications.

The one thing I did try was valium or diazepam. I went to my GP and asked him where I could go for that kind of thing and he actually just wrote me a prescription. From what I've read though, it's not really good to take it every day. I've only used it a few times, and it works, but now I already have to take two pills instead of one. It basically just sedates me so that I'm so relaxed that I'm nearly falling over, but it's the release of that stress that is really what I was looking to get from alcohol. So if I could get that every day, it'd be great, but I know that's impossible with diazapam.
 
See I can be all civil like when I want to be.

Well Ok I just didn`t answer and let jimmy get in first, but at least I didn`t get anti.
 
I don't know if I have PTSD but I can't tell you if I have it or not.
It's just getting so bad. Today on the subway some drunk motherf*cker was flicking boogers at me and I told him to just f*ck off and he gave me an eye and I just f*cking lost it. Before I know it I already had him by the throat and when I felt the life draining out of him I let go. I don't like to hurt people, I don't want to kill. It really makes me so sad that I did that. i want to cry right now. I do this shit every day. I'm so embarrassed from my behavior that I just run home every day and stay in my house. I don't even have any friends. It's just getting to the point that no matter how many pills I take or how much alcohol I drink, I can't stop this murderous rage exploding out from within me. It's just out of control and I can't stop it. I don't know what to do. I can't ride the subway and guarantee that some drunk guy won't come on and pick his nose and flick boogers at me and I can't seem to get enough downtime to recover my stress or anxiety. I can start off with absolutely zero anxiety and stress and then instantly be flying off the handle in a situation I never expected. I just want to disappear but there is literally no further that I can run than I already have.
 
I don't know what a squaddie is. I'm not a member of your club whatever it is so I won't pass your test.
 
Reported. f*ck I am pissed off with these kids.


PS. At least this twat was honest (ish)
 
That's great. Thanks for telling us that you pushed a button on the Internet to report a guy who already claims to be unstable. I'm sure that accomplished a lot to keep my rage under control. Obviously law and order isn't enough to keep me from being violent and losing it so you're pushing a button on the Internet is going to suddenly make a difference in the world. We should all be thankful for how selfless you are to push a button and then make a post about it.
 
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