I honestly don’t know what I write on this board, nothing constructive or helpful generally comes out of it. And usually the conversation gets turned from what I am seeking advice on to someone else’s issues whom happens to “reply”. But alas I have no one else to go to, and nowhere else to vent. I am purely isolated from any real social contacts the world could hold.
I’m 3 years post-graduation for a career I have always wanted and still do. Sadly that career surely doesn’t want me. I graduated despite having one of my worst nightmares occur during my clinical year… a pregnancy and a child! Not only did I graduate with this horrendous thing happening, I graduated top of my class. But that doesn’t matter, because I am a mother now, and that’s all work places see, a mother who might have to take time off for a sick child, a mother who put her child first not a career… god forbid! And being punished by the regulatory board because I haven’t been able to find work in my area which I cannot relocate from until we are able to sell our house, and even then If I don’t leave my fiancé I don’t think that’ll even happen. Boards refusing to let me renew my licence until I can take a refresher course (which I have no money for thanks to my child having chronic illness) and prove I still know my stuff despite the fact I do continuing education projects all the time, and volunteer all with documentation!
Now I’m trying my best to get back into schooling for a career I have zero liking for just to open a door to the career I actually have the education and desire for. All because I couldn’t just jump right into the career because I was stupid and didn’t have an abortion, which I would be punished for too.. so I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t.:confused:
I am only saying this because my career goals where so much more than the entry level and now I have slim to no hope of every getting were I wanted, I have no hope of every being anything but a waste of space. Nothing in my life has ever, ever been easy, and normally I face the fight head on, but how the hell can I face this fight when I hold next to now punches.
My education and career focused mind was the only thing helping me cope with this stupid C-PTSD! They have been the only things to bring any kind of joy to me, and I don’t have them anymore.
I just have stress, stress, more stress, anxiety, depression and all the fun flashback and dissociation and crap! I can NOT go on like this!
All I want is a job in my field that’ll help distract my damn mind for 12hrs a day were I am a somebody not a bag of garbage the way I am every other minute of the day.
Just so tired of nothing going my way. I have no idea what one person could have done so wrong by being born to deserve the life I have been cursed with.:cry:
I’m 3 years post-graduation for a career I have always wanted and still do. Sadly that career surely doesn’t want me. I graduated despite having one of my worst nightmares occur during my clinical year… a pregnancy and a child! Not only did I graduate with this horrendous thing happening, I graduated top of my class. But that doesn’t matter, because I am a mother now, and that’s all work places see, a mother who might have to take time off for a sick child, a mother who put her child first not a career… god forbid! And being punished by the regulatory board because I haven’t been able to find work in my area which I cannot relocate from until we are able to sell our house, and even then If I don’t leave my fiancé I don’t think that’ll even happen. Boards refusing to let me renew my licence until I can take a refresher course (which I have no money for thanks to my child having chronic illness) and prove I still know my stuff despite the fact I do continuing education projects all the time, and volunteer all with documentation!
Now I’m trying my best to get back into schooling for a career I have zero liking for just to open a door to the career I actually have the education and desire for. All because I couldn’t just jump right into the career because I was stupid and didn’t have an abortion, which I would be punished for too.. so I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t.:confused:
I am only saying this because my career goals where so much more than the entry level and now I have slim to no hope of every getting were I wanted, I have no hope of every being anything but a waste of space. Nothing in my life has ever, ever been easy, and normally I face the fight head on, but how the hell can I face this fight when I hold next to now punches.
My education and career focused mind was the only thing helping me cope with this stupid C-PTSD! They have been the only things to bring any kind of joy to me, and I don’t have them anymore.
I just have stress, stress, more stress, anxiety, depression and all the fun flashback and dissociation and crap! I can NOT go on like this!
All I want is a job in my field that’ll help distract my damn mind for 12hrs a day were I am a somebody not a bag of garbage the way I am every other minute of the day.
Just so tired of nothing going my way. I have no idea what one person could have done so wrong by being born to deserve the life I have been cursed with.:cry:
