I Have The Best Husband

[Nicolette]

I have had a really rotten week with having to sack a staff member and then finding all her mistakes and unfinished work costing me hours and hours of my time, working 20 hour days for a week trying to get it sorted as there was statutory reporting due on Wednesday. It has also been professionally embarrassing but I must say I was upfront with my clients and all were great. Down side is if any late reporting penalties are issued to clients I will have to wear them along with all my lost time and having to pay termination pay - a week for no work!

Anyway, stressed is an understatement and I was waking up in the middle of the night dry retching from stress and worry so would get up and keep working. I just finished now......after starting last Saturday!

Through all this, we also had hiccups with my eternity ring for our anniversary which really disappointed me and has had me stressed all week as the jeweler wasn't communicating so I was of course thinking the worst. The ring was finally finished today and is truly gorgeous. While worth the wait I was still really upset on our actual anniversary as I ordered the ring 6 months before hand.

Through all this, we all know my stress would have been deflected onto Anthony and I must say he was wonderful. He was a little off yesterday but he has supported me all the way since Saturday from when we had to repair computers (just to add something else to the stress), even making me my meals, cups of tea etc so I could keep working for as long as I could each day until now when I just ripped up the to-do list as it was finished.

It has been hard holding myself together and given the stress I have been carrying we all know what that mix would normally do to a PTSD Sufferer.

I know it doesn't mean a lot to Anthony to be publicly praised but I want you all to know that I am so grateful for all his support through a really dreadful week. He is a good man!

 

[Deleted member 5760]

Congrats on finishing Nicolette. I know how stressed you were and I must say, I was thinking of you. Particularly at 5pm on Weds!!! Ripping up a done 'to do' list is a pretty nice feeling. I'm glad Anthony was there to support you so wonderfully.

 

[anni]

What IS it about that cup of tea? It's the gesture, too, isn't it? It's not a 'thing' over here as much and wish it were. It's not a huge part of the world, here in the forum, but can't be easy sort of having to be so public in a marriage, but you always share the good things or the funny things-always nice. It must be human nature to follow the progress of your ring, since I know I have a bit!

Anyway, the cup of tea rather said a lot about both of you in gestures and observances in all THAT and hope there's breathing room now the week is over. Time for a holiday somewhere quiet?

Seems silly to say take care since it's being done together there,

Anni

 

[intothelight]

Nicolette,

Thank you for the post. It is encouraging to see that PTSD does not have to tear a marriage apart and marriages can continue to thrive.

ITL

 

[Nicolette]

ITL, that is the reason to post such things.....to share the good and not just the bad. I think it can also give hope to those out there who want a relationship and are scared. It can work with PTSD.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

Yes, I see your point Nicolette. TBH, right now I'm far too s*it scared to go anywhere near that level of intimacy. However, on the plus side - I do feel that when the time comes, ironically, my next relationship will probably be the most genuine I've had in some time. Because a great deal of self awareness has taken place in me during this time. And as I become more and more self aware I also feel I become more and more aware of what I need in another human being. I know for a fact that I am going to be straight up about this PTSD thing. I'm not going to make it 'all there is about me' because what a load of s*it that would be. There is so much more to me than this damn condition. However, I would like someone with the emotional capacity to handle something like this in a partner, and possibly even find it to be a rather unique feature about a person. I wont go so far as to say it will be a 'test' as to whether or not she runs for the hills, because that makes it sound manipulative. But I suppose on some relationship level it is. If I reveal to a potential partner that I have PTSD and she can't wrap her head around that - then it's best that comes out sooner rather than later.

I look back on my last relationship and I realise how upside down my thinking was. It really was quite uneven, unbalanced and, dare I say it, detrimental. Emotionally speaking - I was the carer! ...wtf is that hey? The exact opposite of what I needed. Emotionally, I was the one always always always looking out for her and always picking up her pieces. Which in retrospect - were so much fewer than my own. I wouldn't have minded if she'd been at all capable of picking up even a few of mine in return. But I would go as far as to say she was probably 'stunted' on that level. Unable to see any of the 'mess on the floor'. And she was slightly older than me - but emotionally - nuh uh. SO I guess to sum it up - yes, I may have PTSD, but I'm also quite self aware as a result. If somebody can't fathom and appreciate the different facets of that then 'frankly my dear, I don't give a d*amn'. It's just an indicator that they are completely wrong for me. An indicator I will be well aware of in the future.

 

[amethist]

This may be a selfish illness but when push comes to shove, they do kick into carer mode. This may only be for a short time, but they astound us with the strength they show when WE need help and support.

Maybe we don't always as carers, give them enough credit for what they do when we are trying to hold back from how we are feeling in times of high stress. They are not daft, they can see us struggling no matter how hard we try it cover it up.

Good to hear you finally got your ring, maybe you can set aside a day or 2 to take time out to spend some time relaxing together now all this is over. Your birthday is in a few days, so an extra, extra special day to celebrate your anniversary, birthday and sorting out all the mess over the last week.

Mega :Hug_emoticon: to both of you for showing us all how PTSD does not have to get in the way of loving and supporting each other in every way.

Amethist

 

[emmieb]

We might have to have a competition because I have the best husband too! I could not survive this disorder without his daily help. He is my superhero and I make that clear to him everyday.

 

[Nicolette]

That's cool to hear emmieb!

 

[Nicolette]

Despite the arrogance, smelly farts and sarcastic traits my husband has I love him dearly and I wanted to thank him publicly for supporting me through a dreadful time with work.

• He turns my electric blanket on for me
• Makes me dinner
• Makes me cups of teas
• Gives me kisses and encouragement
• Hasn't told me off and has let me get through this, listening to my vents
• I get the best snuggles in bed that I fall asleep in minutes like a baby
• He sometimes makes me breakfast
• He complains a lot (but that's usual)
• He has sat up late with me keeping me company
• Has been telling me off for being on the forum reminding me I should be trying to get through the work
• He went and filled the car up with fuel this morning so I had some extra time to work..... and I'm sure there is more.

Thank you sweetheart. :inlove:

 

[Reclusive]

You guys are so cute. <3

 

[Sammy]

Nothing like a public thanks. Kudos to both of you!
:tup: