I Know How It Feels

[LostBear325]

Tonight I was in the middle of making dinner when my girlfriend said she was down in the lobby of our apartment building. She found a girl she knows from college basically passed out on the stairs and wanted to call an ambulance. The girl, I am going to call her A, didn't look so good. She had bruises all over her legs, her feet were cut and bleeding, her bra was pulled up and her chest was exposed which I could see through her ripped shirt. I sat with A while my girlfriend waited outside for the ambulance, but police showed up first. The first cop started questioning A and it really bothered me. He was talking to her like she had done something wrong, even though obviously something was wrong. She couldn't stop crying enough to tell them anything, and was very incoherent. She seemed so scared and kept saying she was sorry.

When the ambulance finally came they took her and wouldn't let either my girlfriend or I go with her. I feel so bad that she is somewhere in a hospital all alone. Someone should be there with her. I may not know her but no one should be alone like that. It just made me think of when I was in a similar situation. I was so scared and felt so guilty for making other people drop what they were doing to help me.

I know that it was good that we even just got her to the hospital; I just wish there had been something more we could have done. I feel so bad and I feel even worse that I keep thinking about how this reminds me of what happened to me. I feel so selfish and wrong. I just am so scared for her.

 

[LostBear325]

I saw A today on the bus ride home from class. She looked me right in the eye and I am guessing she either didn't fully remember me or was too mortified to say anything. She did look a little better, but she looked so sad. I found out today that after she left in the ambulance last night instead of taking her to the hospital they just took her home. I really think she should have been checked out but there really isn’t anything I can do, is there?

 

[Red Feather]

I think I know how that feels too. And to speak to her can also feel wierd, because it is like assuming that you would be someone to trust, but that is difficult if you are like a stranger to her. Maybe you can make her a card and then the next time you see her, you could give it to her?

I have a friend who does a lot of art projects, trying to find a way to breach that hindrance in coming contact with people and their stories. I love her work. :hug:

 

[anthony]

Nope, there isn't anything you can do, and no, you aren't at fault. You helped the best you could... what happens after that is out of your hands and control.

Well done for helping her to begin with.

 

[LostBear325]

You helped the best you could... what happens after that is out of your hands and control.

I just keep thinking of her face. She looked so terrified and alone.

 

[NIKI]

Alot of people don't even want to get involved. It was so kind of you to help her. You did everything right.

 

[Mcll]

I think that if you can't stop thinking about her, you should try to talk to her. Tell her about your experiences, it might help her to not feel so alone and it might help you as well.

 

[Muzikluvr]

I just keep thinking of her face. She looked so terrified and alone.

She is not you. What you might hope to have people do if you were her, isn't necessarily how she wants to be treated. You are identifying too closely with her, and what you want from her is something she cannot give you right now. There is no need to talk to her unless she is open to you. You need to figure out, for yourself, what you would talk to her about, how you would like to help her, etc... and then you need to refocus that energy on yourself. YOU need something. YOU experienced something that has triggered you. You need to help yourself before you are overwhelmed by this experience.

I'm so sorry you had to find her that way. I'm sure it was shocking and that it has shaken you. What images are you seeing? What is it about those images that are haunting you? What feelings are you identifying with?