I Think This Time We're Done

[Ude]

I just did 6 weeks no contact. Then he called to apologise profusely and explain what was going on. I was extremely patient and supportive and just listened (thanks to all the great advice I've picked up here).
He said he had the phone in his hand so many times during that time and stared at it ready to hit speedial, but then he just couldn't do it.

He said he has lost so many chances of a relationship in the past because of his PTSD and isolation in particular. The fear of hearing what I would say to him after 6 weeks of silence, was too great.

"Is she gonna be mad (She has a right)?" "Will she tell me its over and never wants to see me again?"
"Will she think I'm crazy?"
So when he built up the courage to face all those possibilities and call, he was blown away from not getting the reaction he had received in the past.

He opened up even more depths to me, really put himself out there to show me that "if you really want me, this is how I come worts and all". Very emotional conversation, souls were bared but a deeper level of understanding and connection was reached. I feel so responsible for the personal information I now hold in trust for him. He was so brave to go there and tell me.

We're still apart for now, but its the best thing in the long run. Hope that helps show you what could be happening his end. We're all here to help each other.

 

[Tepec]

Thank you Ude. I've been through this before with him. This is the longest it's been. I just have a horrible gut feeling that this is it.

I can't explain it. I don't know why I think it and I hope I'm wrong. But maybe it's better this way. I mean, I wish if it was over he'd have said so, but maybe I can keep telling myself it's over and I need to forget him.

He already knows I don't think he's crazy and that I've been sticking around. I just think because I told him what I wished I had it made him leave. Idk. I'm just so sad and I just wish he'd say something.

 

[Tepec]

Still not a peep.

 

[Unir]

Still not a peep.

Give it some time, its very tough I know. Take each day, occupying your time and staying busy. Soon you will be able to withstand a week going by so quickly you don't know where the time went. Take comfort in the fact that you are most definitely on his mind too, even if he can't show it yet.

 

[Redato]

I

Give it some time, its very tough I know. Take each day, occupying your time and staying busy. Soon you will be able to w...

I'm Ude by the way.

 

[Tepec]

Well, I looked at his profile and he posted yesterday. I know he's alive. He did post something that indicated he's depressed, not in so many words. It's possible it's even partially for me.

On top of all this my mother is getting dementia. She seems to be deteriorating quickly. She was ok a year ago.

 

[Azuzo]

:hug:

 

[Tepec]

It's really looking like my gut was right. Still no word.

I'm not contacting. I can only be there so much. I would've waited forever but I need something. Something that tells me he still wants me somewhere in his life. I'm not getting anything. I can wait forever for something but not for nothing.

 

[Tepec]

Zero.

 

[Upo]

It's Edo here again....now I'm going on 6 weeks with zero contact. I also know mine's alive from social media. I know that gut feeling you're talking about....because I feel deep down he might really be gone. Hopefully yours pops back into your life. :hug: