I Want To Go Home

[Maxwell]

I'm not sure if this is the correct forum for this.

Ever since I can remember, I would silently say to myself, "I want to go home." I would say it over and over quietly to myself. I can't remember the exact context or times it would occur. I still find myself saying it as an adult, albeit much less frequently.

I notice, at least now, that the words bring me out of a flashback. It's almost like when Dorothy says, "There's no place like home" in The Wizard of Oz. I come back.

I don't know if that was the same way when I was a child. I just know I would say it when I was distressed.

Can anyone relate?

 

[Ted Moen]

Sure. You found a thought that grounded you when you realized you needed to ground yourself. It's very comforting to have that tool in your toolbox of coping strategies. Sounds way better than wearing a rubber band on your wrist and snapping it periodically to keep yourself grounded :)

Ted

 

[maddog]

Yep, coping statements are a common form of grounding, and for me they are actually very effective - perhaps because I tend to be a rather verbal person by nature. As the old saying goes, if it works, do it!

Maddog

 

[Ice_Fire]

I used to say this when I was a child. My 'home' was my Gran's house, my safe place. The thought was comforting and I suppose it was a decision, as helpless as I was, I knew what I wanted.

Saying it to myself has grounded me in stressful situations and sometimes it's been the one thing I've been able to say. A few times I have literally been allowed home from saying it :D

Anyway, if it works and it grounds you, then hold onto it.

 

[Muzikluvr]

I caught myself saying that shortly after I had my first memories of abuse, almost 20 years ago. I realized that I thought "I want to go home" a lot. But, I knew that home wasn't home anymore. So, I was wanting something that didn't exist, and it occurred to me that it hadn't existed for a long time. It kind of shocked me then, to realize that the abuse happened when we were on vacation and my family's perception of me completely changed. When we got home, as much as they forced everything to appear unchanged, things were never the same. My home was no longer there. That phrase just made me forlorn, at that time.

I think it's rather comforting now, if I'm referring to the home I've created... except when the house is a wreck! :)

 

[BigBear]

I realized that I thought "I want to go home" a lot. But, I knew that home wasn't home anymore. ...It kind of shocked me then, to realize that the abuse happened when we were on vacation and my family's perception of me completely changed. When we got home, as much as they forced everything to appear unchanged, things were never the same...

In this case, "home" was a place in time where the abuse and the abdication of "family" hadn't happened. "Stop the world, I want to get off!"

It happens so often that I find myself wanting to go to a time where it was simpler. I remember a football game in a neighbor's yard (probably about 10 years old). I got the ball and started down the field. I ended up carrying pretty much the whole other team across the goal line. "Stop the world, I want to go there!"

Simple! Clean! Happy!

Bear

 

[Tinyflame]

I have 'heard' years ago in my mind "Come home".
I am not sure what 'home' is, exactly.
For me, it seems more relevant (or irrelevant) to the present more than any thoughts of the past.

But I know of a grounding statement, didn't know that's what it was called.

 

[OMNICELL]

I know this statement. I have said it many times. I to wanted to go home. I have a deep rich relationship with God, so home is a mixture of past present and future. Im aware that "home" was taken from me many moons ago, so I have the present and future to look forward to. Although Im sure I don't want to know what its like to be 80 years old, I don't have allot of material things, when Im old, I will be closer to home.

Home is what I fantasied I had, and never had. The fantasy bond created a healthy perspective that I may live. Now I see I never knew what was going outside of me. Most of my life has been an inside set of TV screens.

 

[Maxwell]

I simply can't believe that others have used that exact phrase. These kinds of things make me feel less alone. :)

 

[Tinyflame]

To some degree I seek 'home', but it's related to a feeling of peace. Or safety/ peace? :tdown:
Or relief? I'm not sure what.

 

[TeddySue]

Throughout my life I sought a home; a place where I would be safe. Not a specific place, but a place somewhere and not where I was. This last trauma, 6 years ago, when my world came tumbling down and I lost all I thought I had... well, I would cry and cry, saying those very words, "I want to go home."