I'm a veteran and I believe I've had PTSD for the last 15 years since I got out of the Army. I initially applied for VA compensation for PTSD 1 year after I got out. I was denied a year later. I managed to make it through college for 4 years. I never had to give a speech.
My anxiety got so bad in my junior year that I went to see a psychiatrist and they just gave me zoloft. It didn't help with my hyperactivity. In my fourth year of college I couldn't keep going to class because of my anxiety. I didn't drop the classes because I didn't want to be kicked out of college right away and have no where to go.
I was trying to become a personal trainer. I got the certifications. I came to the realization that I couldn't do it. I not only had PTSD but I had a physical disability that made it hard for me to speak. I went to many doctors about it since I was in the military and they kept telling me it was just a sinus problem. After being told it was nothing for 10 years I looked up the symptoms on google and found out I had patulous eustachian tubes. It feels like I am breathing in and out my ears with every breath. When I speak it sounds the same as someone speaking when they are under water.
I was kicked out of college on academic probation and I moved in with my father. My father was abusive to me. He kept telling me how he was disappointed in me. He put down my military service and my efforts to get an education. My father I found out is a narcissist. I thought I could trust him but found out I can't anymore.
My mother was a narcissist too. She is an authoritarian control freak. When I left the military I asked her if I could move in with her so I can go to college and get a job. My mother demanded I don't use my MGI Bill until she says I can. Then she opens my bank statement one day and sees I'm using my MGI Bill money that I earned and says she won't pay for my college anymore. She claimed I broke a promise when I never agreed to anything. I moved to a bigger university after finishing an associates degree at a community college. I went no contact with my mother.
So when I moved back in with my father he demanded that I talk to my mother. Keep in mind my mother and father got a nasty divorce when I was 13. They hated each other. So I answer the phone and she says "Do you want to be apart of the family or not". I said "I didn't really have a choice". I was adopted by them when I was 5 years old. So I reestablished a limited contact relationship with her.
7 years later after that I had to confront my mother for all her disrespect towards me. When we went out to dinner I mentioned I dropped out of college and she looks at me and starts saying "Hhahahahha"! Then another time on my birthday I mentioned I have an ear disease and she says "Oh you know your biological father died when he was 40". I responded "yeah he was an alcoholic". So I was sick of her disrespectful, hateful behavior and told her one day over the phone if she doesn't stop it I'm not going to talk to her ever again. I called her a few days after her dog died since I knew she would be softened up. She apologized but then a few months later she muttered "you had to get me when the dog died". She's a sick person. I don't care if she's an accountant who owns her own business. Money doesn't cure that type of sickness.
I had to find a job quickly after I got out of college. I got a job at my local mall as a security officer. It was really hard on my since I have PTSD with a physical disease. I had a supervisor who is a malignant narcissist and a manager who enabled it. They were firing people left and right like it was nothing. I was worried every day about losing my job. I was just trying to get on my feet and move on with my life.
Around 7 years ago I started doing meditation where I lay down. I developed a breathing meditation where you lay down and breath in and out your mouth 5 minutes, then breath in through your nose and out your mouth 5 minutes and then finish by breathing in and out your mouth 5 minutes. That breathing exercise helped me to get my energy back and clear my mind.
I started taking breaks as much as I could while at work. My narcissist manager got fired for sexual harassment. The narcissist supervisor was still employed. I tried to get rid of him when a new company took over security at the mall. I remember that supervisor said he had a felony and that's why he didn't become a cop. So I reported it through e-mail on the company computer. They new manager was a friend of the supervisor. They set me up by leaving an electrical room open. When I walked in they watched me and took me off that job at the mall because they said I was in an unauthorized area. I worked that job for 5 years.
While looking for another job I stared to study Qi Gong. I found a good CD from a series called the "linden method". It helped me to make a 10 minute exercise I could do every day to help with my stress. Then I bought a book called "self massage for athletes". I made a 20 minute full body massage that helped me to relive stress. Then I learned about adrenal fatigue. I completely changed my diet to help with my adrenal fatigue.
So I combined the meditation with the qi gong exercise, massage and diet to heal my PTSD. Also, I've been taking a supplement called phosphatdylserine and a triple strength fish oil high in epa. I read their is a drug called vayerin prescribed by Psychiatrist for adhd that is the same two ingredients. ADHD and PTSD have some similarities. I think those two supplements helped me a lot over the last 7 years to think more clearly.
I'm still waiting for my PTSD compensation from the VA. I just reopened it recently. I got a new job and the work environment is a lot better. I did have the same type of scenario for about two years when I first started. The manager crashed his car into a tree and the narcissist supervisor at my new job quit when her enabler manager got hurt in the car crash. It's really been nice and I hope it stays that way.
My anxiety got so bad in my junior year that I went to see a psychiatrist and they just gave me zoloft. It didn't help with my hyperactivity. In my fourth year of college I couldn't keep going to class because of my anxiety. I didn't drop the classes because I didn't want to be kicked out of college right away and have no where to go.
I was trying to become a personal trainer. I got the certifications. I came to the realization that I couldn't do it. I not only had PTSD but I had a physical disability that made it hard for me to speak. I went to many doctors about it since I was in the military and they kept telling me it was just a sinus problem. After being told it was nothing for 10 years I looked up the symptoms on google and found out I had patulous eustachian tubes. It feels like I am breathing in and out my ears with every breath. When I speak it sounds the same as someone speaking when they are under water.
I was kicked out of college on academic probation and I moved in with my father. My father was abusive to me. He kept telling me how he was disappointed in me. He put down my military service and my efforts to get an education. My father I found out is a narcissist. I thought I could trust him but found out I can't anymore.
My mother was a narcissist too. She is an authoritarian control freak. When I left the military I asked her if I could move in with her so I can go to college and get a job. My mother demanded I don't use my MGI Bill until she says I can. Then she opens my bank statement one day and sees I'm using my MGI Bill money that I earned and says she won't pay for my college anymore. She claimed I broke a promise when I never agreed to anything. I moved to a bigger university after finishing an associates degree at a community college. I went no contact with my mother.
So when I moved back in with my father he demanded that I talk to my mother. Keep in mind my mother and father got a nasty divorce when I was 13. They hated each other. So I answer the phone and she says "Do you want to be apart of the family or not". I said "I didn't really have a choice". I was adopted by them when I was 5 years old. So I reestablished a limited contact relationship with her.
7 years later after that I had to confront my mother for all her disrespect towards me. When we went out to dinner I mentioned I dropped out of college and she looks at me and starts saying "Hhahahahha"! Then another time on my birthday I mentioned I have an ear disease and she says "Oh you know your biological father died when he was 40". I responded "yeah he was an alcoholic". So I was sick of her disrespectful, hateful behavior and told her one day over the phone if she doesn't stop it I'm not going to talk to her ever again. I called her a few days after her dog died since I knew she would be softened up. She apologized but then a few months later she muttered "you had to get me when the dog died". She's a sick person. I don't care if she's an accountant who owns her own business. Money doesn't cure that type of sickness.
I had to find a job quickly after I got out of college. I got a job at my local mall as a security officer. It was really hard on my since I have PTSD with a physical disease. I had a supervisor who is a malignant narcissist and a manager who enabled it. They were firing people left and right like it was nothing. I was worried every day about losing my job. I was just trying to get on my feet and move on with my life.
Around 7 years ago I started doing meditation where I lay down. I developed a breathing meditation where you lay down and breath in and out your mouth 5 minutes, then breath in through your nose and out your mouth 5 minutes and then finish by breathing in and out your mouth 5 minutes. That breathing exercise helped me to get my energy back and clear my mind.
I started taking breaks as much as I could while at work. My narcissist manager got fired for sexual harassment. The narcissist supervisor was still employed. I tried to get rid of him when a new company took over security at the mall. I remember that supervisor said he had a felony and that's why he didn't become a cop. So I reported it through e-mail on the company computer. They new manager was a friend of the supervisor. They set me up by leaving an electrical room open. When I walked in they watched me and took me off that job at the mall because they said I was in an unauthorized area. I worked that job for 5 years.
While looking for another job I stared to study Qi Gong. I found a good CD from a series called the "linden method". It helped me to make a 10 minute exercise I could do every day to help with my stress. Then I bought a book called "self massage for athletes". I made a 20 minute full body massage that helped me to relive stress. Then I learned about adrenal fatigue. I completely changed my diet to help with my adrenal fatigue.
So I combined the meditation with the qi gong exercise, massage and diet to heal my PTSD. Also, I've been taking a supplement called phosphatdylserine and a triple strength fish oil high in epa. I read their is a drug called vayerin prescribed by Psychiatrist for adhd that is the same two ingredients. ADHD and PTSD have some similarities. I think those two supplements helped me a lot over the last 7 years to think more clearly.
I'm still waiting for my PTSD compensation from the VA. I just reopened it recently. I got a new job and the work environment is a lot better. I did have the same type of scenario for about two years when I first started. The manager crashed his car into a tree and the narcissist supervisor at my new job quit when her enabler manager got hurt in the car crash. It's really been nice and I hope it stays that way.
