I wish I could ban a person from my dreams

[stitchedtogether]

Lately I've been having dreams of my abusive ex, last night's dream really got to me.

For background I have a 2 year old cousin that lives with us, she's basically like the little sister I never had, she's an only child so I'm protective.

Last night I had a dream, that my ex was in my house playing with her, picking her up. I woke up so angry, so sick to my stomach. I thought I moved on from him and got him out of my memory. How do you scrub someone out of your memory?

 

[Friday]

How do you scrub someone out of your memory?

You cannot.

If you get stronger than they are, and they pose zero threat? Your sleeping mind will come up with scenarios where that both IS AND IS NOT true. And play them out, to various conclusions. Preparing you for both possibilities, and all variations you can imagine.

If they are your lord, master, god? Touching/Ruling over every aspect of your life? Infinitely more aspects of influence.

You know them. You care about them (not meaning love/care, but care like someone pulls a gun at a gas station, or is driving for shit on the road you’re on, or you live next to an asshole with dogs; IE You are aware of them & the danger they present. Past, present, future.).

If you kill them, so they present zero danger to you/yours? The care of cops & science & other options you did not take… will still flood your dreams.

When you KNOW someone? Or OF someone? They will penetrate your dreams. As your resting mind processes them, and their past or potential involvement in your life. That’s just what dreams do.