DID Identities

[jadebear]

If your brain knows a past emotion, then it will quickly identify with it when you process what you feel now.

I'm just curious...If I talk or think about traumas that happened at a very young age and I feel panic, rage, or whatever...is that what I'm feeling now, or what I felt then? I'm confused...

 

[WonderingWhy]

Hmmmm, :thinking: My guess (will see when Anthony replies :rolleyes:) is that it's what you are feeling now. I would think though that it could frequently match at least somewhat of what you felt then.

I can't wait to see if Anthony agrees!:dance:

 

[anthony]

I'm just curious...If I talk or think about traumas that happened at a very young age and I feel panic, rage, or whatever...is that what I'm feeling now, or what I felt then? I'm confused...

Does it really matter? Then, now... 10 years into the future! If you feel it, you feel it... and if you are describing it, it means you feel it now. Your brain, again, is trying to associate to the past, instead of concentrating on the now, the present.

Does it make any difference if you pinpoint then to now in the scheme of things? If so, what will it change? Your brain is here, now... your memories are what connect your past to your present... what you feel though is now, regardless whether you felt it then.

Rage is not an emotion either... its an emotional response. There is always underlying emotions to anger, rage, etc.

 

[Nicolette]

I know I'm a little late but if you like reading there are two great books to help you move forward:

• You can heal your life - Louise Hay
• Feel the fear and do it anyway - Susan J Jefffers.

 

[jadebear]

Does it really matter?.

I guess it really doesn't matter... I don't know why I try to analyze every little thing.

 

[jadebear]

I feel so absolutely certain that if I really let "everything" out I could likely be totally overwhelmed that I could seriously not handle it and possibly die.

That's how I felt and what I thought too. But then I got tired of dicking around and decided I want to get better, no matter what it takes.

 

[jadebear]

BTW...not trying to imply that you're dicking around WW....I'm just saying that I was. I was making every excuse I could to avoid things and then decided that it was time to put 100% effort in.

I know you're seriously afraid of dying if you let everything out, but I think you'll find you will feel much better when you do.

 

[Hlost]

I don't know, but I don't think it's actual brain damage. I often, can't pinpoint exactly what I'm feeling. I think it takes a mindful awness to 'get in touch with your feelings', and that it's a skill that needs to be learnt. I'll frequently think that I'm "pissed off", or "fed up", when really that could mean anything - angry, depressed, lonely, upset, frustrated, annoyed, aggressive, sad, guilty, helpless etc,etc. Or a combination of a few things. :thinking: Just my thoughts

I have recently been reading articles on this very thing about just what does happen to the mind of the a traumatize child and yes, there is 'actual brain damage' according to some studies. Here is just one very technical study, there are several articles on JAMA on Facebook as well.

[DLMURL]http://jcem.endojournals.org/cgi/content/abstract/78/2/249[/DLMURL]

I have also read that there have been limit studies done. I have my own take on it all from the reading and research I've been doing. I was curious about that as well as a several other things.

As far as the feelings, I have problems identifying them when they are swinging through me at lightening pace. I had my tdoc appt today and I did clearly 'see' 3 identities, all from depersonalizing. It was clear that the survivor in me broke down at some point and that is when my first hospital stay was and she is mostly unable to control the situation anymore, just watching it all. Pure mayhem now without medication and full on concentration. Fear, rage, fleeting childlike happiness, and agonizing sadness. If rage is not an emotion then we got troubles mate...anger is work to get to, frustration takes work to calm down to address, and the sadness can be simply unbearable to experience over and over. I keep feeling like I'm doing it over and over and getting no where. My tdoc said I am in the process and have to give up the reigns. Trust, really?! Really. Link Removed

 

[Brea]

and the sadness can be simply unbearable to experience over and over. I keep feeling like I'm doing it over and over and getting no where. My tdoc said I am in the process and have to give up the reigns. Trust, really?! Really. :scream:

I can completely identify with this. I feared letting out the grief. I thought i would be consumed. My doctor kept telling me that this was a process and that I needed to let go and stop trying to control everything. I thought he was nuts. Then, last week I had a breakthrough. I could not hole in the grief anymore and I just let it come. It was horrible, but I realized that it did not consume me. I am still here and I realized that I DID NOT deserve with happened to me. That was the first time that I realized that and it was so empowering. I learned that my therapist is right. Maybe I should trust him because he can see things clearly not through the fog that I see it. My view is completely distorted and maybe just maybe he knows what he is talking about? Who knows.

 

[cherryblossom]

I have recently been reading articles on this very thing about just what does happen to the mind of the a traumatize child and yes, there is 'actual brain damage' according to some studies.

Yes, you are quite right. There are studies that have shown there are changes in the brain of a PTSD sufferer in MRI scans.
What I meant was that I don't think being able to pinpoint your emotions is necessarily brain damage. And that I think it is a skill that needs to be learnt. Just my opinion, I have no scientific evidence for this. I only used my own experiences to comment.

Being able to 'let go' in trauma therapy is really, really important. You need to just let out all those emotions. Without being able to do that, you will likely keep going round in circles and not getting very far.

Well done brea!! Great moves forward :thumbsup:

Hlost - I know it's hard to trust - but seriously, if you think about it logically, what is the worst thing that could happen by spilling your guts to your therapist (not literally, obviously :lol:)? If you come up with any answers to that question, (which I'm sure you will), then try to think logically about the likelyhood of that outcome.

 

[anthony]

I have recently been reading articles on this very thing about just what does happen to the mind of the a traumatize child and yes, there is 'actual brain damage' according to some studies.

Studies are useless more often than not... as they are controlled typically to derive an outcome through a screening process.

There is a difference between brain damage, which is irreversible vs. brain changes, ie. the amygdala decreases in size, the Hippocampus, same thing, etc. These are also proven to be completely reversible through a) reducing symptoms, b) specific brain exercises to re-stimulate targeted areas, c) brain regrowth is proven science now, that they can renew dead aspects again.

Don't believe everything you read vs. taking a great venture into the widest possible storyline your time can afford in order to obtain a clearer, fuller picture. Studies typically have specific, narrow, aims, to either prove or disprove, rarely are they allowed to just venture a course and see what pops out.

 

[Hlost]

That's another way of looking at it.