Poll If You Repressed/suppressed Your Trauma, What Triggered Your Memories To Return?

[Changing4Best]

My adult abuser made it impossible for me to talk to anyone by keeping me away from everyone, period. I was not allowed friends or even aquaintnaces.

 

[safenow]

A number of people marry their abusers. That person tends to dominate their every thought and action. I hope you are not with them now.

 

[Changing4Best]

No, thank God! I ran away from him and went to live in an Assisted Living Facility that accepted my meager Social Securiy Disability. I had been homeless with him. The only time he ever let me out of our motel room was to allow me to go beg for money in the streets, so we'd be able to stay in that motel room another night. I made enough for that and a box of macaroni and cheese. We stayed in kitchenettes at cheap motels. He'd get in a fight or some other thing and we'd get kicked out, so I had to find us another motel room. It was a tourist city, so there were many motels, but basically, when I ran away, we were running out of motels! That was in August of 2004.

I finally got it together enough to move to another state, so that I did not have to live with the memories any longer. It is peaceful here, way out in the mountains in the middle of nowhere.

But now this woman moved in upstairs with a brat from hell daughter of 8 yrs old. MAN! I had to complain to the management about iher screaming and crying and stomping and carrying on, so things are quieter since then, which was Wednesday, if I recall. I pray they stay this way, but I have an uneasy feeling...

 

[safenow]

her screaming and crying and stomping and carrying on,

Please remember, there is always a reason why a child behaves this way.

 

[Changing4Best]

Her brother told my neighbor (who lives next door to them and suffers with this as I do) that the child has always been this way. That could be a lie and the reason may well be exactly what you and I are thinking it is, but I cannot prove it. I have called the police, as has my neighbor, but they claim there is nothing they can do about it unless they SEE the child being abused. Fat chance of that, yeh, right...

The mother claimed that the child was being bullied in school, but that the school was doing nothing about it. So! I happen to know the school principal and I contacted her and let her know. The way the laws are now, she cannot even confirm to me that the child attends her school! (Pricacy and all that). Anyway, she did say that she would look into it, but that was all she could tell me.

I found out from my neighbor as well that Social Services was called by the school because the child had a red mark on her arm. The mother claimed that the mark was because she went to spank the child and the child moved out of the way, so as to be hit on the arm instead of the behind. So they are getting councelling at Social Services. All this was told to a friend of my neighbor's who told her and she told me, so who knows what is true and what is fabricated and what is gossip!

Also, the child's parents just recently separated, and she is angry about this. The mother said this to my neighbor, apparently.

All I know is that I am suffering on and off with a lot of noise that I am not used to at all. It is disturbing. I have physical as well as mental illnesses and I need my rest during the days as well as the nights. My health has declined badly since these folks moved in upstairs. I do not have the money to move, nor is there anywhere else I can afford to move to. I'm living in the only building in town that is for the ELDERLY AND DISABLED, and supposedly the child's mother is that, so she qualifies to live here, so I am told by management anyway. My neighbor is investigating if this is true, that a child can be allowed to live in the building for the ELDERLY and the DISABLED. Even the sign out front says that is what this building is for!

 

[safenow]

I'm living in the only building in town that is for the ELDERLY AND DISABLED

I hear ya. I live in one of those. But mine is not just for the elderly. I have better living accommodations than those do. I have a washer/dryer in my apartment and a roll in shower. And while it's only two rooms they are larger than those in the Elderly buildings. We don't have that lobby, and all the fancy stuff in the lobby, but I wouldn't go there anyway. LOL.

I"m sorry you are struggling so. I know what it's like. The people behind me have a large family (6 or 7 children) with every child having a different father and they all come to visit their children (which I'm happy they do). She used to have wild parties on the weekend, and everyone in the two buildings kept reporting her for the language, spitting, beer cans, naked bodies in the pool and jacuzzi, and loud music. Finally, she got notice. Either shape up or move. She shaped up. She still entertains, but at least they are quiet now.

I hope that problem can be solved for you. Good luck.

 

[Abstract]

Abstract,

I can't thank you enough Safenow. You helped me enormously. I was :cry: from gratitude and hope and understanding. Words don't cover it. I am so glad to hear it was beneficial to you too and not triggering.

 

[safenow]

You are very welcome, Abstract. Any time I can help, I'm more than happy to do so. I seem to learn something each time as well.

 

[Sivawoman]

My traumatic memories started to come back when I was 20. Instead of dealing with them, I chose to further abuse myself with drugs and unsafe activities. I ended up suppressing the memories again. I am now 32, and I have been in therapy for about 3 years. My memories started to come back again, and after a suicide attempt my good friend took me to the emergency room, where I made a follow up appointment during the safety plan. I decided to keep going to therapy, and thank goodness I did!

My memories were triggered by a boyfriend turning off his phone so I would quit bothering him. I was sure he was cheating, so I became irrational.

 

[safenow]

My memories come back when I'm in a lot of physical pain. Yesterday, while I was waiting for the pharmacy to deliver my new pain meds, I flashed back to an earlier trauma. My face hurt, and my head itched like crazy. I felt as though someone was pulling my hair out. I kept scratching myself, before I realized I was hurting myself. My young adult was fighting back, but then it felt as thought the abuse was happening all over again.

I shouted out loud, STOP!. Where are you? Then I opened my eyes and saw my apartment. I kept asking myself questions until I was totally grounded. I kept having to bring myself back, but I was able to do it. At which point, I knew since I had survived this type of pain before, I could do it again. It may take me a lot longer to do things when I'm like this, but I know what to do and how to function and that is what counts.

That's the only good side of abuse. You learn some survival skills for the future. Like how to work through the pain when you hurt even to lift your arms, and it's a struggle to move any part of your body you hurt so bad all over. But you can do it. Just remember to breathe. Breathing is so key to be able to move when your in pain.

 

[PurpleSurvivor]

I was forced to watch a long anti-bullying commercial. This was during an event that took place every year and that was used against me by my former classmates. That day I knew that something was wrong with me, and after a short while I started having flashbacks.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I answered, but the visual memories were never suppressed. It was the emotions that were suppressed.

I met some stupid guy who ended up spying on my online activity. He said I was doing dirty things. He harped on the dirty part so much that it opened a floodgate. Oh, and I wasn't doing anything that would be inappropriate!