Hi...I'm new to the Forum....and I just want to put this out there....I don't know, maybe I've really gone and lost the plot, but....while my whole life I've always known that I was different, it is not until I spend time with therapists or come to places like this, where most of the information is based on what comes from the same 'institution', that I become aware that there is something 'wrong' with me.
I honestly didn't realise that symptoms were something that needed to be 'got rid of' or lessened as much as possible. Throughout my healing journey I've actually found that some of my greatest weaknesses have become my greatest strengths and assets, and some of them I didn't and still haven't bothered to give the time of day, let alone invest time and effort in order to 'deal' with them.
For example growing up, washing the dishes felt like a punishment and was an opportunity for my older brother to demean, bully, punch, push, etc. and to this day I do not like doing the dishes. I know exactly where the burden stems from and I have no interest in worrying about it...and why bother...it's nothing a dishwasher didn't fix.;) But seriously...I only worried about the stuff that was getting in the way or was stopping me from doing the things that I truly wanted to do...and quite frankly, I don't think I would want someone to take from me some of these abilities I have gained as a result of my traumas.
Take dissociation for instance....perfectly normal, everyday function of the human being that everyone does...you'd be hard pressed to find someone who has never driven through a set of traffic lights only to turn around and gulp 'gee I hope they were green?' (or to the like). My understanding is that there are degrees...and if you're not fully present, then you're not here (to some degree). And thank God too. And... that dissociation doesn't cause trauma but rather is designed to protect and shelter us from one. Man...and you can bet I turn this sucker on anytime I have to have a blood test taken and wiggle my toes or else I faint. I remember the first time the nurse said, 'got a happy memory you can think of?'...didn't have to ask me twice.:tup: What do you think sports people are doing when they're 'in the zone'?
And what about different persona's....I love this one....my riding and my horse's performances improve exponentially when I apply this. One lesson my instructor could see that I was feeling insecure and was questioning my abilities when he said 'just ride as if you are the best rider in the world'...and so I did and the confidence and surety that flowed was awesome. I still knew exactly who I was and what I wasn't. Again...what do you think actors, comedians and other performers are doing?..together with a dash of dissociation just to get on stage sometimes.
And these guys go to a lot of trouble and training to do what we can do naturally and the better they are at it, the more medals, awards and trophies they get. We only get labeled with a disorder when it is in control of us instead of us being in control of it. And when you've learnt how to be able to turn them on and off, and even adjust the volume, I believe they can be kinda fun and handy to have around.
And speaking of what we do naturally....now we have got to have the in built bullsh*t odometer that is off the charts. Now it can be said that we may just be 'too sensitive'....but I say they're either jealous or just don't want to be held accountable or responsible (and it hasn't escaped me either over the years that I get called 'aggressive' when it isn't going their way, and assertive or pro active when it is).... Let's face it....counselors and therapists pay a lot of money and devout years to learning how to pick up on and read people...and not even as well as we can. Now I'm not saying that they don't know a thing or two....what I am saying is that maybe we do too? While there is all the best practices and studies and research out there...doesn't it really come down to who I 'want' to be?
I say that if we have the lemons....might as well enjoy the lemonade. I say embrace who we have become...it makes us very suited for helping others, private investigation, creative writers...and the list goes on....and all pursuits that can be carried out pretty much solo thanks to today's technologies.
Now I'm definitely not saying that this is necessarily all 'right'...that's why I've put this out there...maybe it's just turned out right for me?.....but surely I can not be the only one who see's this....or am I? Am I just completely off the planet???
Love to hear some feedback.:)
Cheers.
I honestly didn't realise that symptoms were something that needed to be 'got rid of' or lessened as much as possible. Throughout my healing journey I've actually found that some of my greatest weaknesses have become my greatest strengths and assets, and some of them I didn't and still haven't bothered to give the time of day, let alone invest time and effort in order to 'deal' with them.
For example growing up, washing the dishes felt like a punishment and was an opportunity for my older brother to demean, bully, punch, push, etc. and to this day I do not like doing the dishes. I know exactly where the burden stems from and I have no interest in worrying about it...and why bother...it's nothing a dishwasher didn't fix.;) But seriously...I only worried about the stuff that was getting in the way or was stopping me from doing the things that I truly wanted to do...and quite frankly, I don't think I would want someone to take from me some of these abilities I have gained as a result of my traumas.
Take dissociation for instance....perfectly normal, everyday function of the human being that everyone does...you'd be hard pressed to find someone who has never driven through a set of traffic lights only to turn around and gulp 'gee I hope they were green?' (or to the like). My understanding is that there are degrees...and if you're not fully present, then you're not here (to some degree). And thank God too. And... that dissociation doesn't cause trauma but rather is designed to protect and shelter us from one. Man...and you can bet I turn this sucker on anytime I have to have a blood test taken and wiggle my toes or else I faint. I remember the first time the nurse said, 'got a happy memory you can think of?'...didn't have to ask me twice.:tup: What do you think sports people are doing when they're 'in the zone'?
And what about different persona's....I love this one....my riding and my horse's performances improve exponentially when I apply this. One lesson my instructor could see that I was feeling insecure and was questioning my abilities when he said 'just ride as if you are the best rider in the world'...and so I did and the confidence and surety that flowed was awesome. I still knew exactly who I was and what I wasn't. Again...what do you think actors, comedians and other performers are doing?..together with a dash of dissociation just to get on stage sometimes.
And these guys go to a lot of trouble and training to do what we can do naturally and the better they are at it, the more medals, awards and trophies they get. We only get labeled with a disorder when it is in control of us instead of us being in control of it. And when you've learnt how to be able to turn them on and off, and even adjust the volume, I believe they can be kinda fun and handy to have around.
And speaking of what we do naturally....now we have got to have the in built bullsh*t odometer that is off the charts. Now it can be said that we may just be 'too sensitive'....but I say they're either jealous or just don't want to be held accountable or responsible (and it hasn't escaped me either over the years that I get called 'aggressive' when it isn't going their way, and assertive or pro active when it is).... Let's face it....counselors and therapists pay a lot of money and devout years to learning how to pick up on and read people...and not even as well as we can. Now I'm not saying that they don't know a thing or two....what I am saying is that maybe we do too? While there is all the best practices and studies and research out there...doesn't it really come down to who I 'want' to be?
I say that if we have the lemons....might as well enjoy the lemonade. I say embrace who we have become...it makes us very suited for helping others, private investigation, creative writers...and the list goes on....and all pursuits that can be carried out pretty much solo thanks to today's technologies.
Now I'm definitely not saying that this is necessarily all 'right'...that's why I've put this out there...maybe it's just turned out right for me?.....but surely I can not be the only one who see's this....or am I? Am I just completely off the planet???
Love to hear some feedback.:)
Cheers.
