I'm New Here, Just Trying To Heal...

[xCountryQueenx]

Hello,
My name is Lauren Elizabeth and I am here from South Florida. Growing up, I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse and as I got older, the abuse escalated and continued - I never got a break from it. The emotional scars of my abuse are a constant reminder to me of the pain I endured... It's a daily struggle but it is my hope to one day be able to break free and finally find the peace I know I deserve.

I've been in a relationship since early February but as I grow closer to my partner, I am beginning to realize the challenges that come with having been a sexual abuse victim. Ricky and I have only been together for several months, but we are very much in love. :) He really defined "true love" for me, I didn't know what love was until I met him.

Now? I'm petrified of losing him. I've become very insecure and am always scared that he will leave me or that he will cheat on me... I know that he loves me and he would never hurt me, but it seems like the memories from my past and what I went through is haunting me to this day and I just want to be able to trust him and have a healthy relationship.

It's much easier said than done but I am hoping to find others here who will be able to relate to me. I want to heal, I just don't know where to start...

~Lauren Elizabeth

 

[cherryblossom]

Welcome to the forum :wave:

 

[Illy]

Healing, it is a lot easier said than done. When it comes to someone you love, you then feel like you the only thing you want to do is move on, it's one of the hardest things to do. But like a open wound, in time wounds heal. Yes, they leave a scar, but that scar creates you, and makes you become a stronger person. You won't ever forget, but we learn to accept, and accept ourselves for the strong person we became to be. Not everyone can live through the things that has happened to us, I almost wasn't strong enough to make it, but I promise, you aren't alone. We are all here to heal, to find someone we can relate to... THIS is a start..
You aren't alone
- Illy

 

[Lucycat]

Hi Lauren Elizabeth,

Welcome to the forum.

It is not unusual to have issues about attachment and relationship insecurities when you have had a traumatising childhood. Sometimes it is because you have to start loving yourself before you can really believe that others can love you. It is incredibly difficult, but worth the effort.

Best wishes
Lucy x

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)