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I'm Only 20, How Can This Have Happened?

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My name is Hannah Corbin, I am a 20 year old female that aspires to be a Trauma Nurse, EMT-P, and Firefighter. My goals have been delayed, however. I was involved in a head on collision on March 6, 2011 and suffered severe injuries. I have been told I'm lucky to be alive, though some days I don't feel so lucky.

Sunday, March 6, 2011 started out like any other day, I would come home from my 12 hour shift at my home health care job, I took care of Intellectually Disabled individuals, and I would take a nap. When I woke up from my nap, I called my best friend and sister, Jessica Shears, I invited her to come along with me and my now fiance, Rocky Keister, to the volunteer fire department we all ran at and went to often. She agreed and me and my fiance went to go get her, then proceeded to the station. Just 2 days before this day my fiance and I had moved out of my parents house and into our own apartment. It was a rough time for me so I decided to call off work this Sunday due to the stress. We arrived at the station and checked in with everyone there. A couple members were there not many though, Jessica and I went into the back bay and lit up a cigarette with a member there and talked for a while. Rocky then told me that his brother needed a ride to the station and also that he wanted to get some food. I said that I wanted to go, I never am anywhere without him, I asked Jessica if she would like to come and she said yes of course, she never was anywhere without me either. We all piled in the Dodge Neon and pulled out of the station parking lot. It had been raining most of the morning but we didn't think anything of it, we were foolish not to notice that it was sleeting. Not 10 minutes after pulling out of the station parking lot we came to a turn, the inertia took hold of our small vehicle and sent us speeding into oncoming traffic. Rocky tried frantically to correct the vehicle but the inertia was too strong and the road too slick. Rocky, Jessica, and myself in our small Dodge Neon, hit a Jeep Liberty head on.

Rocky stayed conscious throughout it all miraculously, I did not and neither did Jessica. Jessica was the first one of the two of us that regained consciousness, she had no idea what had happened, she had a concussion. She climbed out of the car and proceeded to wonder aimlessly until one of our members saw her and put her in the back of an ambulance to be transported, on top of her concussion she had a dislocated jaw and a broken nose, no major injuries just confused and disoriented and in a little bit of pain.

When I gained consciousness I immediately looked at Rocky and asked him if he was okay. He nodded and began to get slightly upset, I could tell he was at least somewhat hurt cause he hadn't exited the car and he was breathing quite heavily. After asking him if he was okay I looked at my airbag and saw blood on it. I proceeded to ask if it was my blood. Rocky nodded again and replied that yes it was. Not seconds after that my Assistant Chief from our station poked his head into Rocky's window and asked if we were okay, I replied I couldn't move my leg, he said okay I'll be back we're getting your door open now. This threw me into a panic and I tried to open my door myself and blacked out, when I regained consciousness again, I tried to move my leg, I could move my foot but nothing else and I could move my right leg just fine other than the dash board pushing down on my knee. I looked around after trying to move my leg and asked Rocky why there appeared to be smoke in the car, he said that it might be the engine smoking but he didn't know. What I heard was we're going to blow up, I started crying and screaming and yanking on the door and trying to move as hard as I could, I blacked out again. I didn't regain consciousness until I was already on the backboard being put in the ambulance, I could feel the cold snow hitting my face and stinging the open wound caused by my broken nose which is where the blood that was on my airbag came from.

While in the ambulance my medic was my Chief from the station, who was also who helped get my door open. I don't remember much other than him asking me what hurts, telling me that they couldn't get a vein on me, and asking me who he needed to contact. I gave him my parents cell phone numbers and that's the last I remember until I was already in the ER of WMRC. Rocky's mom was the first person I remember having contact with, she tried to comfort me as best she could. The next was my mom who was in tears the second she saw me, all I could say was, "Mommy, don't cry." That didn't help of course. I saw a doctor next who told me that I had hip socket (Ascetabular) fractures on both the left and right sides. The left was far more severe though, my hip was completely dislocated and would not stay in place due to the severity of the fractures, the right fracture was a hairline and didn't pose any structural damage, though they were concerned about dislocation. The doctor also told me that I had a heel bone (Calcaneus) fracture which turned out to be more of a crush than a fracture, the Calcaneus is a solid bone on the outside then spongy bone on the inside, it's a very sturdy bone though and for it to be crushed like that there had to be some force involved. The doctor told me they couldn't fix me there and needed to transport me right away to Morgantown. A physicians assistant came in and set and sutured my nose, they wrapped my mid section in what felt like ace bandages and popped me full of pain killer.

This was the beginning of what I thought was the worst it could get, I was only experiencing the physical aspect of the trauma, not the mental.

Will post more soon, this is all I can do right now.

<Poll removed by Amethist>
 
I say physical for this one reason.

A serious enough physical trauma can ruin your mind in terrible ways if you let it, then you would be with both a ruined body and mind..... I guess that doesn't make it worse really, both are terrible.

Having ptsd has shown me that your mind can cripple your body just as easily as your soul can be ruined by physical trauma, I may have said physical but really there is not a huge difference, they are both really bad things that can happen to you. I just like to have less scars...provided they were not self inflicted.....another mental thing? Trauma is trauma and each one can injure one another on top of that. If you are sick enough mentally, your body will just waste away.
 
I was thinking about this today when I saw a woman walking with braces. I guess it's really this forum that has made me realize it. Basically, when I first began having flashbacks of abuse and neglect in my childhood... and the fact that I TOLD them I was hurt but they didn't believe me... well I thought I envied those people who had physical injuries. No one was asking them to prove that they were hurt, prove that there was a reason to feel depressed, angry, etc...

But, I've been reading on this forum for awhile now, and I've come to realize that with a physical trauma, especially where there are lasting affects, the person has more challenges physically AND they still have to deal with the mental traumas of their life experiences... and those to come. So, when I passed that woman today, I sent a little extra hope her way (if that's possible) and I wished for her to feel good about getting out today. Since, I guess I was feeling good about getting out today. (shrug)

I don't see how this poll is going to help you, it hurts me to vote this way and explain it to you. But, since you asked, and since I was already thinking about it...

Here's hoping you get what you need and feel the support that we all want to share with each other.
 
Welcome to the forum, Hannah!

The accident definitely sounds traumatic. I wish you a speedy recovery, both physical and psychological. However, having multiple physical disabilities myself and knowing how they can affect a person, I realize that it may quite a bit of time.

I hope that you find the support to deal with at least the emotional consequences of the accident. I recently read a number of posts from PTSDers who were involved in some major vehicle accidents. So I hope that you will find support for the physical recovery as well.

Looking forward to seeing you around!
 
Welcome to th forum Hannah, there are many folks here who have gotten PTSD through a car accident. They will be able to relate to you. This was a great starter, almost like a diary. Trauma diaries are very helpful as we can write our way through our emotional and psychological states about what we are living. You will find a great support system here. There are also many articles which have helped me to accept my PTSD, some demystifies the behaviors we have. There are threads where we can laugh, good jokes or just anecdotes that can put a silly smile on your face. We need those lighter moments to deal with what we have, we all deserve this.
 
Hi Hannah,

I am so sorry, it is a horrendous situation to be in. My PTSD was triggered by a car crash in Feb 10. I totally relate to the dealing with the physical side first - I broke my neck. Also the panic when trapped in the car, a passer by opened the passenger side door and I was able to scramble out that way as I was told there was a fuel smell, like you it was the car will blow up.

It was only once my body began to heal I started with PTSD symptoms. I am seeing a T for EMDR therapy and that has really helped me.

Also the support from the forum, wonderful members, articles and threads. It is a great place to realise others get how you are feeling.

Looking forward to knowin you better.
Take care
KP
 
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