I'm so frightened to ring my son! how can i be braver?

[mumstheword]

The journey begins ... or continues ... articulating the rollercoaster that is my life
My poem and art page :-)

 

[Deleted member 12723]

We can support each other since I am estranged too and feeling tender. My oldest grandson is going to turn eighteen yrs old on the fourteenth of December and because he lives with his mom, my sick and twisted daughter, nothing will change when he legally becomes an adult so I understand a whole lot about feeling tender when so much stuff surfaces and the aches of missing them.

Having no contact is not for sissies that is for sure. Now I am going to hunt down your diary and read your poem. You can do this. I believe in you and feel free to vent here as often as you need to garner support to get through this. I am going on ten months no contact. The last contact I had from my daughter was a series of seven videos which I have saved in case things escallate. She recorded seven videos of her cutting her arm. She is a full blown alcoholic and a borderline with narcissistic tendancies. So I can definately relate to the pain and anguish of being estranged. There was a time when we used to be very close, but she is not getting treatment yet and maybe never will. I still have hope of someday maybe...:hug::hug::hug:

 

[mumstheword]

We can support each other since I am estranged too and feeling tender. My oldest grandson is going to turn...

That sounds incredibly painful! My heart goes out to you @Rain !

Things are easing with my oldest children I feel, although the drug-culture stuff comes between us, some.

My 19 year old has recently been meeting up with me weekly, after a 5 year estrangement. He is now tired of the sitting around, doing nothing, bonging on lifestyle and that's exciting for me.

We are both needing to work on getting our driving licenses, which I want to help him with. He is also interested in learning some old-school crafting of wooden instruments, which I am supportive of and helping him facilitate. I am friends with the man who teaches it.

My oldest daughter I had a 7-8 year estrangement with. She was encouraged to blame and abuse me by her Dad. She has recently changed in her attitude towards me. We are texting a little. Hoping to catch a gym class together and maybe a meal sometime.

I don't talk to or about their father at all anymore. He is a taboo subject. I can finally keep his narcissistic arse out of my parenting affairs (as much as humanly.possible anyway, it's been a sheer-cliff uphill battle to get this far !).
So it's really refreshing and dispelling-of-the- alienation to be able to share this kind of familial struggle and pain with yourself and others who know it too! :-) :-) :-) :-)

I really hope, now that your grandson is coming of age, that you will be able to end this rift and spend some quality time with him sometime. These things do customarily take quite a bit of time to repair and heal from, I've found. Best wishes and prayers from me to you regarding this @Rain :-) :-) :-) :-).