Important First Day Back At Therapy For A Long Time

[Mokz]

My funding was cut for therapy a while ago so I have been saving up so I can afford to go back with the full fee. Finally got enough for one session and it is the session where my Mum is going to come so I can tell her about everything hideous that has happened to me in the last few years.

I think it is fair to say I am pretty nervous to the point I have considered cancelling quite a few times.

10 hours to go until therapy time...

 

[cherryblossom]

Wow Mokz. That's a huge step. Sincerely well done for agreeing to do this. :)

Only about 6 months ago, I told my parents what had happened to me. I was raped at knife point about 17 years ago. I won't pretend it was easy to tell them. Nor will I say it's been plain sailing ever since.... But they are a huge support to me (sometimes overwhelmingly so), and despite the ups and downs, a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. I had kept my embarrassing secret (my view at the time - and still a work in progress to fully accept that 'it was not my fault';)) quiet for so long. I had hidden my 'secret' from everyone for so many years. I had worn a 'mask' for years. "Breaking the silence" about your trauma is a huge step, and very brave. Please keep your appointment, and talk to your Mum. I'm sure there will be a lot of tears, upset, and questions - but it will all be worth it. I am sending you lots of strength. Stay positive, and try to be completely honest. Let us know how you get on.

All the best
CB

 

[Mokz]

Thanks Cherryblossom

I hope that it goes well, only 2.5hours to go. I have been so stressed that I have slept all day which is totally not like me. I feel sad and stressed and tired. I just don't want to go at all, though I know down the track it will be the best thing. I too was raped at knifepoint and the stalked by my rapist for 2 years, I coped by developing a heavy drug addiction which I have managed to kick now. I am still haunted by nightmares, flash backs and dissociation which have become stronger and stronger the closer this therapy appointment becomes.

Sorry I am starting to ramble.