This is a bit of a rant that I just needed to put this out into the world. I am at the point of my recovery where I have some good weeks and the time between 'episodes' and symptoms is getting a little longer. But I am also at the point where I am realising that the shit part - the dysregulation, nightmares and triggers are not really ever going to be gone. When it all kicks in again, I feel so defeated, like.... 'Here we go again!' I comfort myself with the fact that at least now I have names for all the things and tools to help me, but still, it's so frustrating and my energy levels feel so low. This really isn't going to go away is it? I know this logically, but the reality of it feels so exhausting. I sometimes feel so depleted and so defeated. I am just fed up with 'managing' it, and when it comes around again, it makes me feel like I am broken. Constantly picking myself up and resetting myself is so bloody exhausting!
Ok... Rant over!
Ok... Rant over!