Lucycat
Sponsor
Hi,
I've been dealing with this CPTSD for nearly a year now. I really thought I was coming out the other side until last week when I totally flipped, and lost control again. OK so it was only a week, and after an increase in meds and lots of support from my T. I was back to feeling good again.
Until last night.
I was away overnight for work. In a hotel, alone. Had eaten my dinner and retired to my room to watch TV. Then there was a power cut. The whole Island was in darkness. I had just the light from my mobile phone- but no signal, as I presume the mast was down too. I freaked, panicked. It was awful. I just could not think logically what to do. I knew my phone was not fully charged and feared it would give up on me too.
After a long time I heard other guests in the corridor. I peeped out to see actually there was emergency lighting in the corridor. I had not even thought to look. As these guests were just arriving they were being shown to their room by candlelight. The staff member offered me a candle too, so that was a great relief.
Then, of course I was scared to go to sleep in case I burn the hotel down! I did not want to put out the candle and be plunged back into darkness.
Eventually after a few hours a generator was put into action, so I managed to extinguish the candle and get some sleep. But I was awake so early, and got up. I just could not wait to get out.
I am not normally afraid of the dark, and if that had happened in my own house I would have known the layout and where the torches are kept etc. I hate the fact that I have made a Big Deal out of a simple power cut. The 'Old Me', before diagnosis, would have laughed off the whole thing. The 'New Me', is a nervous wreck!!
I've been dealing with this CPTSD for nearly a year now. I really thought I was coming out the other side until last week when I totally flipped, and lost control again. OK so it was only a week, and after an increase in meds and lots of support from my T. I was back to feeling good again.
Until last night.
I was away overnight for work. In a hotel, alone. Had eaten my dinner and retired to my room to watch TV. Then there was a power cut. The whole Island was in darkness. I had just the light from my mobile phone- but no signal, as I presume the mast was down too. I freaked, panicked. It was awful. I just could not think logically what to do. I knew my phone was not fully charged and feared it would give up on me too.
After a long time I heard other guests in the corridor. I peeped out to see actually there was emergency lighting in the corridor. I had not even thought to look. As these guests were just arriving they were being shown to their room by candlelight. The staff member offered me a candle too, so that was a great relief.
Then, of course I was scared to go to sleep in case I burn the hotel down! I did not want to put out the candle and be plunged back into darkness.
Eventually after a few hours a generator was put into action, so I managed to extinguish the candle and get some sleep. But I was awake so early, and got up. I just could not wait to get out.
I am not normally afraid of the dark, and if that had happened in my own house I would have known the layout and where the torches are kept etc. I hate the fact that I have made a Big Deal out of a simple power cut. The 'Old Me', before diagnosis, would have laughed off the whole thing. The 'New Me', is a nervous wreck!!
