"Is it me?"
Let me throw out some details and Id appreciate feedback.
I have been seeing my therapist for 4 years and like any relationship, we've had our issues. I want to highlight some to see if they are beyond what a client should endure
1. Early on, I completely dissociated and left my body. She sent me back to work with the direction to email her and let her know how I'm doing. I was out of whack that entire week as nothing like that had ever happened to me before. I could have used some direction on how to deal with it or a follow up to check in. I am often triggered.simply from being in session and wonder if this set things off on the wrong foot.
2. Several years ago, she invited.me.to join her in a 1/2 day art.class, stating she didn't mind if I joined her as an exception this.one time. I registered and went to the class and she didn't show up. I was too intimidated at the time to mention it to her, but you can imagine how I felt.
3. Last fall I finally called her out on the fact that I thought her almost monthly outages were excessive. We battled a bit about it but finally she understood that the unpredictability was hard given my history and I need consistency. I am most impressed that she's only missed one session in the last six months, so she was.listening to what I had to say.
4. I am hitting some really hard,.deep work at the same time she's moved her office. I had a negative reaction to her husband opening and closing a door within earshot of my first session in her new space and we just had a big email exchange about all of it, and I felt I had to work really hard to make her understand that was triggering for me
5. Lastly, during this conflict about the door, she unfriended me on Facebook after several years. I understand that this is the way it should be and many things have changed like her marital status. However, it felt like a knee jerk reaction, like she was upset with me, and with abandonment issues, etc. I would have appreciated an email about changing policies, separating personal boundaries, etc vs an abrupt cut off.with no.comment.
Are my expectations too high? Usually these discussions start with her kicking the blame back at me and with much discussion, she will take some ownership.
She is an excellent therapist but seems to not handle conflict on a personal level and her regard for my feelings is not always apparent.
Part of me wants to call her out on the FB unfriending as it feels like I did something wrong given the timing and her lack of concern for how it may make me feel.
As therapy is much about relationships and we have our struggles, should I keep working with her in spite of a few personal quirks or find someone better able to separate personal from professional?
I'm taking the month of July off to let the dust settle for a bit but am.tempted.to interview other therapists. Maybe I.am looking for excuses since we're dipping into difficult territory.
Let me throw out some details and Id appreciate feedback.
I have been seeing my therapist for 4 years and like any relationship, we've had our issues. I want to highlight some to see if they are beyond what a client should endure
1. Early on, I completely dissociated and left my body. She sent me back to work with the direction to email her and let her know how I'm doing. I was out of whack that entire week as nothing like that had ever happened to me before. I could have used some direction on how to deal with it or a follow up to check in. I am often triggered.simply from being in session and wonder if this set things off on the wrong foot.
2. Several years ago, she invited.me.to join her in a 1/2 day art.class, stating she didn't mind if I joined her as an exception this.one time. I registered and went to the class and she didn't show up. I was too intimidated at the time to mention it to her, but you can imagine how I felt.
3. Last fall I finally called her out on the fact that I thought her almost monthly outages were excessive. We battled a bit about it but finally she understood that the unpredictability was hard given my history and I need consistency. I am most impressed that she's only missed one session in the last six months, so she was.listening to what I had to say.
4. I am hitting some really hard,.deep work at the same time she's moved her office. I had a negative reaction to her husband opening and closing a door within earshot of my first session in her new space and we just had a big email exchange about all of it, and I felt I had to work really hard to make her understand that was triggering for me
5. Lastly, during this conflict about the door, she unfriended me on Facebook after several years. I understand that this is the way it should be and many things have changed like her marital status. However, it felt like a knee jerk reaction, like she was upset with me, and with abandonment issues, etc. I would have appreciated an email about changing policies, separating personal boundaries, etc vs an abrupt cut off.with no.comment.
Are my expectations too high? Usually these discussions start with her kicking the blame back at me and with much discussion, she will take some ownership.
She is an excellent therapist but seems to not handle conflict on a personal level and her regard for my feelings is not always apparent.
Part of me wants to call her out on the FB unfriending as it feels like I did something wrong given the timing and her lack of concern for how it may make me feel.
As therapy is much about relationships and we have our struggles, should I keep working with her in spite of a few personal quirks or find someone better able to separate personal from professional?
I'm taking the month of July off to let the dust settle for a bit but am.tempted.to interview other therapists. Maybe I.am looking for excuses since we're dipping into difficult territory.
