Intro - Married to Ex-Marine With PTSD

[grams]

I am Velda Henley and i am married to an ex Marine with PTSD and it has gotten bad lately. He talks about suicide and leaving and divorce and swears I am having an affair and that I am driving him to suicide. Any one else have the same problems. He is on meds and sees doctorsat the VA in Big Spring and I wonder if he tells them he is thinking suicide.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Welcome to the forum... There is a great carers section that will help you to feel less alone in this. It may help you to understand that his behavior is typical of that of a person with PTSD. This doesn't mean that his behavior is acceptable, but rather typical.

Taking care of you is important. Do not allow him to be abusive, emotionally or physically.

 

[rachey]

grams,
I know this must take a huge toll on you to see what your husband like that. It must be very hard to deal with since you do not have PTSD and can't completely understand it.
I've had PTSD for over four years now and I easily understand what he is going thru. When you have PTSD you may be completely normal for months, maybe even years, and then all of a suddon you're in the lowest point of your life for no reason at all. The biggest cause for these depression states are what they call "triggers". A lot of triggers can't be advoided and most are subcontious. Example: I was in a car accident and don't remember much of it, but I've been told that even though I do not remember what song was playing on the radio, if I hear that song it sets of my subconctious trigger and I go into depression. There is no control over it.
He may be accusing you of cheating because he doesn't understand why he is in his depression and is trying to come up with any type of reason to make himself feel not so crazy. When your low point comes, you don't understand why and you truely feel as if you are going crazy because you just dont know why it's happening to you and noone else.
My advice is to not give up. Support him as much as you can, even if it is giving him his space. Be understanding, know that it is not his fault and this is not something he can controle. Do not push him to talk about his feelings because that will just make it worse for him but do be there for him when he wants to talk about them. PTSD really does make you a completely different person at times.
He will return to normal again. The lows do not last forever. Give as much support and love possible, just showing that you can may even help pull him out of his low.

Hope everything works out in the end!

 

[FightingLily]

Hello grams and welcome!

You said it has gotten bad lately, did it start when he started his meds? If so, I would bring that up to his VA doctor. I would bring up the suicidal thoughts too, they should never be ignored.

 

[Seeking_Nirvana]

Hi Velda, and welcome to the forum.

Tammy

 

[Wifeofamarine]

husband has ptsd

i saw your post and i know what you mean. My husband has PTSD and is a former marine as well.. Just dont give up on him..They do feel alone and need all the support they can get..I know its hard, and trust me you feel alone.But just know that your not.. One day im the best wife ever, the next day he says he does not know why hes married to me.. Its an emotional rollercoaster, but he does go to the Va and they have him on xanax which seems to be helping..At first he didnt see a change, but i sure did, so he stopped taking it, and wow, it was awful..But he soon realized that he did help him, and now he takes it up to 4 times a day.. We still have our days, but not like we used to..He still feels like hes worthless, but that is because he can not work due to his temper and anger that is triggered by his PTSD.He is currently 60% and we filied a claim to get him at 100% which they said he qualifies for. So now we are just going to wait and see what happens..Just know your not alone and there are many spouses that are going through the same things..


Heather