Thanks for the links, it makes sense that she has trouble with intimacy, she was raped and beaten up by an intruder in her house when she was thirteen, never had any prior abuse, had a very simple, positive life before that, was into barbies and cheerleading.
Is one one the nicest people you would meet, carries a lot of guilt from the past, I'm hoping I can get her a therapist, she actually believes she needs help, which isn't the way she was last year.
I figure if I'm very calm with her and do what I say I'm going to do, things will work out, I have trouble with patience, but she is worth changing that.