Is it considered sexual abuse or molestation when it happens to you as a child by another child? It's just a bit confusing to me and I really don't NEED a proper technical classification to remember what happened and know what went on. It's just something small that has been on my mind how it would work in today's world if something like that ever happened. I was only 5 years old and the other child who would repeatedly do it to me was 7.
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Childhood Is It Assault When It Is Only Children?
- Post starter IWIK
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anytime one person touches another, for sexual gratification, without that person's invitation or consent, then it is sexual abuse.
Now, having said that; it also depends on the age of the children. If the child (abuser) is young enough they may just be acting out behavior they have learned from another abuser, and their motives may be relativity innocent.
Hope this helps
Now, having said that; it also depends on the age of the children. If the child (abuser) is young enough they may just be acting out behavior they have learned from another abuser, and their motives may be relativity innocent.
Hope this helps
It Is still considered molestation. I like what @RussH had to say about it.
The intent from a child is much different but it doesn't mean the harm was necessary less. I also agree the child could have mostly likely been acting out from the abuse they were experiencing.
But it definitely doesn't mean it was less traumatizing.
The intent from a child is much different but it doesn't mean the harm was necessary less. I also agree the child could have mostly likely been acting out from the abuse they were experiencing.
But it definitely doesn't mean it was less traumatizing.
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WillyKat
Diamond Member
There's a textbook definition rolling around out there that says pedophilia requires an age difference of about 5 years and that the abuser be over 14. (Don't quote me; that's from memory.) Otherwise, it could be two kids just exploring.
But other posters are absolutely right, if it is traumatizing, then its abuse. In other words, it can still be sexual abuse even if it doesn't meet the medical definition of pedophilia.
But other posters are absolutely right, if it is traumatizing, then its abuse. In other words, it can still be sexual abuse even if it doesn't meet the medical definition of pedophilia.
Justmehere
Sponsor
To add an additional note of clarification - Pedophelia is about defining the specific pathology of the perpetrator, not about defining if the perpetrator is a perpetrator or not, nor is it meant to be a definition that limits the definition of what is traumatizing to the victim.
sun seeker
Diamond Member
Technical definitions (which you say you don't need anyway) aside, the important thing is how it affected you, right? If it affected you, it's important.
More than the relative ages of the perpetrator and victim, the potential for abuse occurs when there is an imbalance of power such that the victim can't say no. I read about a woman who grew up being abused by her younger brother. It was abuse because in that situation, a very male-dominant culture, the males in the family were treated like kings and the sister was brought up to give in to her brother's every whim. In some ways this situation was especially damaging because added to the abuse was the shame she felt around eventually breaking the silence.
More than the relative ages of the perpetrator and victim, the potential for abuse occurs when there is an imbalance of power such that the victim can't say no. I read about a woman who grew up being abused by her younger brother. It was abuse because in that situation, a very male-dominant culture, the males in the family were treated like kings and the sister was brought up to give in to her brother's every whim. In some ways this situation was especially damaging because added to the abuse was the shame she felt around eventually breaking the silence.
My boyfriend was abused by his older brother, and their ages were almost the same. But given the fact his brother was bigger, stronger, more self-confident and supposed to look after him, it was definitely the abuse of power.
Perhaps we can say that a child bears less guilt than an adult would; but that doesn't minimize the suffering of the victim. It might be even more difficult to recognize such experiences as abusive and therefore search help.
I think the most important thing is what you feel. If you percieve something as invasive, damaging, if it makes you feel ashamed (but please, keep in mind that you bear no shame), hurt and betrayed - than it was abusive and you deserve help. You deserve to break the silence. Take care.
Perhaps we can say that a child bears less guilt than an adult would; but that doesn't minimize the suffering of the victim. It might be even more difficult to recognize such experiences as abusive and therefore search help.
I think the most important thing is what you feel. If you percieve something as invasive, damaging, if it makes you feel ashamed (but please, keep in mind that you bear no shame), hurt and betrayed - than it was abusive and you deserve help. You deserve to break the silence. Take care.
Melody coates
Silver Member
when a child touches another child sexually it's usually cuz they themselves are being exposed to sexual behavior.
WillyKat
Diamond Member
I agree with @Melody coates. My abuser was about 14 and I was about 6. I'm pretty sure he had been victimized himself, perhaps even the entire family (5 or 6 kids). He knew how to build trust, both in my family and in me. He knew how to deceive. He and his brothers had a reputation in the neighborhood for "being hard" (as my mother put it) on other kids, especially boys. Even his sister beat people up.
Child molesters start early. About 40% of assaults against children under 12 are committed by juveniles. The most frequent age of the offender is 14. And 40% of pedophiles had molested a child by the time they were 15.
Child molesters start early. About 40% of assaults against children under 12 are committed by juveniles. The most frequent age of the offender is 14. And 40% of pedophiles had molested a child by the time they were 15.
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- #11
@sun seeker Yeah, I don't really need the technical term. I Guess it is more curiosity of how it all is handled or if it is usually still just kind of blown off as kids being kids. I remember having to go to school with clear marks on my neck in kindergarten. It was so embarrassing. The other kids didn't know what it was, but the adults did.
WillyKat
Diamond Member
If the abuser is also a child, it's used as another BS reason to not take any action. It certainly isn't the only reason as we all know.
It's a little like what some therapists experience when they report cases of boys being sexually abused by women. They are often laughed at and the victim is considered fortunate, no matter if the experience was damaging or traumatic. (See Mic Hunter's book: Abused Boys: The Forgotten Victims of Sexual Abuse.)
It's a little like what some therapists experience when they report cases of boys being sexually abused by women. They are often laughed at and the victim is considered fortunate, no matter if the experience was damaging or traumatic. (See Mic Hunter's book: Abused Boys: The Forgotten Victims of Sexual Abuse.)
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