I am new to this forum, and have been reading posts all day. They have been extremely helpful to me and the ache in the pit of my stomach seems to have lessened (at least temporarily). This is the short version of my story:
I had a four-year relationship with my Vietnam veteran. I knew from the start that he had PTSD. He proudly told me he was "100% documented and certified crazy" and this did not scare me away. A little over a month ago he broke up with me over the phone. He actually sent me a text while I was at work and asked that I call him later that day. When I called, he very loud and abruptly said, "it's over; we're through; I'm done and when I'm done... I'm done". The relationship seemed to be taking a dip for a few weeks before his outburst, but we had only a handful of arguments over the four years mostly because I avoided any confrontation with him since I knew it was a trigger. I avoided a lot of things so that he would not become angry. I felt a silent demand for respect from him and gave that willingly. But, respect goes both ways and he disrespected me with the way he broke off the relationship without an explanation.
We live 3 hours away from each other and only saw each other on weekends. This worked for us. We were always excited to see each other. We spoke on the phone twice a day, every day when we were apart. I was the one who had to make the calls. He had a "thing" about not placing telephone calls. Everything was fine except It seemed he was drinking more and more and I did not know why. Then we argued over the phone 3 times in one week. This had never happened before, but I totally blame it on the alcohol. We made up after each argument and then two weeks later... he left me.
I have been extremely upset by the break-up, have cried every day and cannot get past it. He told me I could call any time I wanted to and I have called at least once each week since that dreaded day. He answered every time I called, but has not given me any indication that we could get back together, however, I am hopeful that in time we will be reunited. A mutual friend of ours spoke to me and my BF separately and urged us to meet face to face to clear the air. So much was left unspoken. My BF told our friend he would meet me to talk, but I suppose I will have to be the one to call him since he never calls me.
We had trust and respect for each other, but there was a definite lack of communication. He told me he had a problem with communicating and that his last relationship ended because of it. He also has a commitment problem. As I said, we were together for four years, but it didn't seem that it was going anywhere. We did not take the next step. I have so many answered questions.
I love this man and will not give up on him. I believe we will get back together, but am I fooling myself? Will he do this again? Should I move on and forget him? I think we could make it if he went back to therapy and stopped drinking. My friends and family have been there for me. Most of them tell me to go on with my life, that he actually did me a favor. I am so confused. I miss him so much! Please offer any advice you have.
I had a four-year relationship with my Vietnam veteran. I knew from the start that he had PTSD. He proudly told me he was "100% documented and certified crazy" and this did not scare me away. A little over a month ago he broke up with me over the phone. He actually sent me a text while I was at work and asked that I call him later that day. When I called, he very loud and abruptly said, "it's over; we're through; I'm done and when I'm done... I'm done". The relationship seemed to be taking a dip for a few weeks before his outburst, but we had only a handful of arguments over the four years mostly because I avoided any confrontation with him since I knew it was a trigger. I avoided a lot of things so that he would not become angry. I felt a silent demand for respect from him and gave that willingly. But, respect goes both ways and he disrespected me with the way he broke off the relationship without an explanation.
We live 3 hours away from each other and only saw each other on weekends. This worked for us. We were always excited to see each other. We spoke on the phone twice a day, every day when we were apart. I was the one who had to make the calls. He had a "thing" about not placing telephone calls. Everything was fine except It seemed he was drinking more and more and I did not know why. Then we argued over the phone 3 times in one week. This had never happened before, but I totally blame it on the alcohol. We made up after each argument and then two weeks later... he left me.
I have been extremely upset by the break-up, have cried every day and cannot get past it. He told me I could call any time I wanted to and I have called at least once each week since that dreaded day. He answered every time I called, but has not given me any indication that we could get back together, however, I am hopeful that in time we will be reunited. A mutual friend of ours spoke to me and my BF separately and urged us to meet face to face to clear the air. So much was left unspoken. My BF told our friend he would meet me to talk, but I suppose I will have to be the one to call him since he never calls me.
We had trust and respect for each other, but there was a definite lack of communication. He told me he had a problem with communicating and that his last relationship ended because of it. He also has a commitment problem. As I said, we were together for four years, but it didn't seem that it was going anywhere. We did not take the next step. I have so many answered questions.
I love this man and will not give up on him. I believe we will get back together, but am I fooling myself? Will he do this again? Should I move on and forget him? I think we could make it if he went back to therapy and stopped drinking. My friends and family have been there for me. Most of them tell me to go on with my life, that he actually did me a favor. I am so confused. I miss him so much! Please offer any advice you have.
