I will keep it short as i can to tell you the story of my condition..
3 years ago (i was 18) i had a group of friends that we used to smoke marijwana togather every day,.. after a short period they started to abuse me every time we get high (while smoking marijwana) but in a strange way.. they used to refer to me while they talk together (in a hidden meanings or indirect way) as a girl or sissy guy(which iam actually not).. by commenting on some actions or things i've said as if they are talking about some girl or someone else (not me)... but i was taking that as a reference or abuse to me cause they were including things that relate to my action/hisotry/activities/things i've said... (don't know why they were doing that.. i used to think that maybe because iam too thin or have a bad look image or look too young)
i didn't stop meeting them afterwards cause they were my only source for marijwana.. so i kept experiencing this stress for a bout a year or less... and if i someday got angry or made a problem with them or tell them why they are abusing me.. they always said we were not talking about you!..
at that time and later i started to feel very strange when iam out on the streets or in a crowd of people.. i used to feel that people are watching me and watching my actions and how i behave so they relate that of me being sissy or acting like girls) i used to feel very uncomfortable among people or stranger or on the streets.. sometimes feel like car horns are ment as if drivers are noticing that iam looking like a sissy or a girl or acting like to.. sometimes feel like that people on the streets are noticing that too and will try to abuse me indirectly as what happened to me before with me friends... and what it drives me crazy is when iam with people wheather or not i know them or family and there is a conversation about girls or sissies i feel like they are talking about me or abusing me in an indirect way ir refering to me.. another thing to that happens with me alot which is if iam watching a movie or something with any friends or people and someone comment on an actress on the movie i think they are using the movie to abuse me indirectly or to refer to me... even if iam sure this is not true.,. i sometimes fear that a girl on the movie (or a talking about girl) say thing or have thing which i've said/have make people notice that its refering to me and notice that iam anixous to that so they think that iam feeling sissy or so...also if iam listening to a song that talking about girls among people or firends, i feel very uncomfortable
beside that, i started to lack joy of anything that used to enjoy me.. lost all friends... stopped collage and iam having a hardtime alone
anyway i stopped the marijuwana used to go to doctors, tried many medications like anafranil, risperdal, seroxat, seroquel but still suffering..
is that ptsd ? or a schizophrenic thing ?
what is happening to me ?
3 years ago (i was 18) i had a group of friends that we used to smoke marijwana togather every day,.. after a short period they started to abuse me every time we get high (while smoking marijwana) but in a strange way.. they used to refer to me while they talk together (in a hidden meanings or indirect way) as a girl or sissy guy(which iam actually not).. by commenting on some actions or things i've said as if they are talking about some girl or someone else (not me)... but i was taking that as a reference or abuse to me cause they were including things that relate to my action/hisotry/activities/things i've said... (don't know why they were doing that.. i used to think that maybe because iam too thin or have a bad look image or look too young)
i didn't stop meeting them afterwards cause they were my only source for marijwana.. so i kept experiencing this stress for a bout a year or less... and if i someday got angry or made a problem with them or tell them why they are abusing me.. they always said we were not talking about you!..
at that time and later i started to feel very strange when iam out on the streets or in a crowd of people.. i used to feel that people are watching me and watching my actions and how i behave so they relate that of me being sissy or acting like girls) i used to feel very uncomfortable among people or stranger or on the streets.. sometimes feel like car horns are ment as if drivers are noticing that iam looking like a sissy or a girl or acting like to.. sometimes feel like that people on the streets are noticing that too and will try to abuse me indirectly as what happened to me before with me friends... and what it drives me crazy is when iam with people wheather or not i know them or family and there is a conversation about girls or sissies i feel like they are talking about me or abusing me in an indirect way ir refering to me.. another thing to that happens with me alot which is if iam watching a movie or something with any friends or people and someone comment on an actress on the movie i think they are using the movie to abuse me indirectly or to refer to me... even if iam sure this is not true.,. i sometimes fear that a girl on the movie (or a talking about girl) say thing or have thing which i've said/have make people notice that its refering to me and notice that iam anixous to that so they think that iam feeling sissy or so...also if iam listening to a song that talking about girls among people or firends, i feel very uncomfortable
beside that, i started to lack joy of anything that used to enjoy me.. lost all friends... stopped collage and iam having a hardtime alone
anyway i stopped the marijuwana used to go to doctors, tried many medications like anafranil, risperdal, seroxat, seroquel but still suffering..
is that ptsd ? or a schizophrenic thing ?
what is happening to me ?