Relationship Is This Ptsd?

[Lmm]

@Sighs that's exactly what I'm struggling with right now...how much is excusable. I don't even know if he sees what he's doing. I guess I'll see what tomorrow brings...if he changes his mind on the counseling and refuses to go I guess that 's where I need to draw my line.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Is this PTSD

Yep

Marine Corp training

Yep

or is he just a jerk

Yep.

I get it... I really do. I'm with a vet too, and you could be talking about him. Like @Sighs's vet, mine was in a position of command, so I get that aspect as well. In fact, if any vet had been in longer than a few years, he more than likely went up the chain of command some, so had some authority.

I'm of the opinion that it is perfectly acceptable to say a sufferer is being a jerk when they lash out... no matter how much PTSD plays into it. I make exceptions for a certain level of jerkiness, because I know it's just part of living with PTSD, but making that exception doesn't make it any less hurtful. If somebody yells at you or belittles you, they are being a jerk.

Setting that limit is the key. I have firm limits. Like no physical abuse at all. No lashing behavior towards my children. No name calling. I also remove myself from the situation ASAP if he starts escalating. I do keep in mind how symptomatic he is at the time, and am a bit more understanding if he is not doing well... but in everyday life, yelling at me is a no-go at this station.

 

[Sighs]

I do keep in mind how symptomatic he is at the time, and am a bit more understanding if he is not doing well... but in everyday life, yelling at me is a no-go at this station.

Reading this made me realise that my vet is really not doing well in everyday life... :cry:

 

[Sweetpea76]

((Hugs)) @Sighs ... everybody has different levels of "everyday life" at different times. My vet has had years of treatment, including a stay at an inpatient treatment center. If I would have gotten together with him earlier, it may have been a totally different ball game. If he has a set back, it may change again.

 

[Deleted member 28812]

I am with what @FridayJones said in the other discussion @Sighs. Relationships are different and sometimes people do yell. I am sure he has other traits that make him sweet.

 

[Lmm]

@Sighs Same here. Good days are few and far between. Maybe it 's a rough patch for your vet. I hope things improve for you and him. : )

 

[Sighs]

Thank you @Lmm. I think the fact is that this ebb and flow is his normal. Hope you get onto an upswing of good days soon. :hug: