Isolation

[Jessica52655]

Hi... I was wondering if any of you that suffer from ptsd or those that are in a relationship with somebody who does can give me some more insight on isolation.... I'm in a newer relationship and although he has gone days before this time it has now been a week since I have heard anything from him... I am okay without him and want to be patient like I said we are in a new relationship. But can a week be normal and what's usually the longest somebody would isolate? So far everytime he has came back apologizing for it later... there's just this part of my mind wondering if he is okay and if I will even ever hear from him again! Should I continue to text and just let him know I'm here or just let it go and wait for him.... Thanks!

 

[Fadeaway]

I completely isolated for 7 years once. In relationships I have isolated for as much as a month. A week seems pretty short to me because time seems to go by with out you noticing when in that state. A new relationship can be overwhelming and cause you to need to isolate. I don't think it would hurt though to ask him to send you a text every few days just to let you know he is ok.

 

[Glara]

With my guy it's never been more than 3 days. Well, actually when we together in out 20s it could be months but we were long distance, neither of knew he had PTSD and I just thought he wasn't that serious about me, found out that wasn't the case years later.

From what I've read it can be weeks or more. That scares me, I can barely deal with a few days. All I need is simple hello text and I'm good. If too much time passed I don't know if I could handle it. The only communication we have is text/phone since I have to fly to see him. I will never shut him out, but I would just come to the conclusion that we are through. I wouldn't be able to function any other way. But this is me, in part because of the distance.

I hope you hear from him soon, but while your stressed and waiting please come in here to talk about. It helps me immensely since I really don't have anyone to talk to.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

If he can't touch base with you at least every few days, I'd say he's not ready for a relationship.

 

[Friday]

A few years, for me.

At present it's been 11 months 4 weeks and a handful of days since I've spoken to my best, dearest, and oldest friend. I love her dearly. We've known each other for 20 years. Dammit. In fact, it's our 20 year anniversary this year. Supposed to be headed to the Caribbean. Crap. Unless that was last year. Ugh. I don't really know. Time sorta starts flopping like a fish when I'm in a bad spell.

Ditto @Solara... If he can't check in every few days? I'd have to agree he's not ready for a relationship.

 

[desiderata310]

ummm... if I could completely isolate I probably would. A relationship is a lot of work for PTSD. I know I am not ready! I have cancelled on just group cycling rides. Like, got ready, gear on, hand on the door, ready to walk out and said NOOOPE! eff this! I'm staying home. The idea of being there for someone is almost too much for me.

I agree with these two. If he can't check in, he's not ready and sweetie, it ain't you. This is one of those times you can really here someone say "it's not you, it's me" and believe it.

 

[Anarchy]

About four years...
I started a thread a few days back about it, and the toll it takes. the link in this quote should get you to it.

I'm only now begining to understand how destructive my symptoms/behaviours have been to my relationships and I mean in all senses of the word relationship; romantic, career, family...

 

[Justmehere]

This might be a helpful thread:
https://www.myptsd.com/threads/avoidance-how-long-do-your-episodes-last.41469/

 

[Julesnaz]

I think a little over a week without email when he's working on writing or editing. Usually we email back and forth pretty much everyday, except weekends for some reason haha. We've gone 6 months without seeing each other before, which really sucks.

 

[Jessica52655]

He texted me tonight... He asked why I am so great to him and he said I'm so wonderful and he can't believe there's a woman out there that cares so much for a man like him ..He kept telling how wonderful I am and it's so nice to know I'm there and I care.... he said i make him so happy and gave a couple smiley faces. He asked how I am and how work is... I kept it very simple on my end. I wanted to make sure I know i didn't do anything to trigger him if he isolates again.... time and patience will tell.....

;)

 

[Jenny8673]

He texted me tonight... He asked why I am so great to him and he said I'm so wonderful and he can't...

Hi Jessica - I am being isolated for 12 days from soemone that I am dating long distance. Did your Guy ever fully comeback?

 

[Kintsugi]

Hi @Jenny8673, this is an old thread... You might get better feedback in a new one.

I just wanted to drop you a line saying that the way you phrase it--that YOU'RE being "isolated"--may be the wrong way to look at things. In my experience, my isolation has little or nothing to do with the people I'm staying away from and everything to do with me feeling like I need to be alone (sometimes not even feeling that way, just unconsciously distancing myself without realizing it's been two weeks since I talked to someone outside of work). My friends in college used to think I was avoiding them personally until, as the years wore on, they all individually realized that's just how I am with everybody. ;)