Relationship Isolation

[anon1234]

He’s ended the relationship

I'm so sorry he did this, so close to a big exam. Now is the time to remain strong - easy to say isn't it - but you can use the results of this exam as a springboard for the next step in your life. Hoping you're OK and sending positive thoughts.

 

[JM318]

I'm so sorry he did this, so close to a big exam. Now is the time to remain strong - easy to say isn't...

Thank you. I haven’t cried yet and it hasn’t really sunk in. Or I’m just used to this and over it, and now I deserve better. I am giving myself a few weeks before I start moving my things out.

 

[blackemerald1]

Well good on you for not arguing the toss with him. And congratulations on getting into your nursing course. It sounds like you have a bright and successful career in front of you and lots of opportunities. We can never have enough thoughtful and caring nurses in the world! :)

 

[JM318]

Well good on you for not arguing the toss with him. And congratulations on getting into your nursi...

Thank you.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

how can he avoid me yesterday and now he wants to talk?

Because yesterday he couldn't talk due to being too sympathmatic but sympthoms are starting to calm to a point he thinks he can talk tomorrow or whenever.

 

[JM318]

Because yesterday he couldn't talk due to being too sympathmatic but sympthoms are starting t...

His emotions are still high. I had texted him laying down the fact that if I move out, I am not ever coming back again. This is the 4th separation in 4 years. I encouraged trying a counselor and committing to it and told him I cared and I’m not his enemy. He told me if I through PTSD in his face again he’s getting a restraining order.

 

[EveHarrington]

Sadly he’s not ready to heal. It’s going to hurt, but it’s better for you to walk away. Talking about his ptsd in a calm, concerned manner is not throwing it in his face. He just wants to play the victim.

 

[LuckiLee]

Wait a minute. He broke up with you didn't he? And now you try to threaten him that you won't ever come back? Leave him be and het your things when he's not there. Sorry things worked out this way but he needs to get well on his own.

Best of luck in the future.

 

[JM318]

Wait a minute. He broke up with you didn't he? And now you try to threaten him that you won't ever com...

Meaning, we’ve broken up 3 other times and gotten back together. If I move out, there is not going to be another chance. I can’t hold this relationship up on my own.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

He told me if I through PTSD in his face again he’s getting a restraining order.

That would be my que to leave. I would say "ok, but save your time on the restraining order. You will never hear from me again after I get MY things from the house. I can't judge if he's ready to heal but certianly a sufferer can talk about how PTSD is effecting the other person and the relationship as well as couples counseling when they are calm in a calmly mannor. Maybe text wasn't the best way to do that though? Written word can be misinturpted. We see that on the forum all the time. I would have said those calmly in person. But either way, a threaten a restraining order? That's super extreme and irrational. PTSD is the mother of irrational thoughts but still.

 

[Sighs]

You can't be made homeless every time he has an "episode". I'd get your things (if you can safely do that) and move on.

Clearly, he doesn't want help right now.

 

[JM318]

That would be my que to leave. I would say "ok, but save your time on the restraining order....

He is not ready. He’s been persistent that he was not diagnosed, even though I know it was Fall 2015. He denied seeking help, then he had a breakdown in July 2016 which he really hit rock bottom and finally opened up about how he was feeling. He told me he was struggling, that he thought of suicide at one point or another just to “make it all go away” and that he made an appt for counseling for 7/26/2017. He texted me a few weeks after and told me he leaves counseling angry and he wanted to punch his therapist in the throat, and then he stopped going.

He told me I was the reason for his symptoms and he didn’t need a doctor to tell him that. I removed myself from the conversation and told him I was there if he needed me.

I think you guys are right, I need to move out and not look back. I need time before that happens, I want to give myself a few weeks bc I’m in the middle of my nursing semester, I lost 5 pounds this week, my jaw is constantly clenched, my muscles are all tense and I’m anxiety ridden and nauseous. I just need time to feel better. Strangely, I haven’t cried yet and I’m usually an emotional person.