It Doesn't Seem Genuinely

[Whitebird]

Hi all,

Every session after therapy my therapist ask me "how do you feel about this session?" It doesn't matter what answer I give him, then he thanks me because of saying my feeling. Also every session he compliments on my cloth and appearance.

I don't like his appreciation because I think it's not genuine. Does he need my answers? Definitely not, so what's the point? Should I say to him about my feeling?

I don't like his compliments about my appearance because I feel like a 5 years old child! I can understand he wants to have empathy with me and show affection to make a relationship based on trust, but I think it's not genuine. I don't want to be rude, but should I say to him about it?

Have you ever feel like this? Anyone relate? Any recommendation?

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear @Whitebird , he can mean it genuinely. But maybe you should be honest- something like "what I feel in responses to that question is annoyance and mistrust", or "that I'm being treated like (or feel) a child", or whatever you feel.

I think it's ok, the right answer is simply the truth! :) I think that might be part of the point- what do you really feel, identify it, get the nerve to say it. :tup:

 

[Whitebird]

Junebug thanks for your response.

I guess the problem is my poor English! ( It's my second language )

You are absolutely right "The right answer is simply the truth" I'm not comfortable with answering that question, but I always say the truth, but it's not my problem! My problem is his appreciation! When he thanks me for saying my feeling, it means he is grateful for something I did, but I think to show my feeling is not something that I did for him, that's why It doesn't seem genuinely to me. I know it's really stupid, but I don't know why I feel like that :(

Do you think I should say to him that his appreciation is annoying? I think maybe it's a trigger for me!

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes you should, if that's how you feel. You can also say "I don't know what I feel, or mixed feelings, and here's why.." You could also ask him what he's striving to accomplish. I would get in to the topic that perhaps appreciation is a trigger.

Well, it is genuine in that you've shared it with him. And honestly. That is a bit of trust.

 

[Hashi]

I agree with @Junebug. I think it's always a good idea to talk to your therapist about anything that's bothering you.

Maybe when he thanks you, what he means is that he values your openness. But if that doesn't seem genuine then I think it would be really good to discuss it. Especially if it makes you feel he's treating you like a child. Discussing things like this can be very helpful.