Hello Everyone,
I'm new to this site but would like to say that I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the posts on here. I have found it truly enlightening and helpful as I have embarked on a journey with a man with PTSD.
My story began a year and a half ago..I met a man who ( for the first time) I could see a future with. He swept me off my feet and I had this gut instinct that he was someone who I wanted to spend the rest of my life getting to know. We dated for 3 months. He lives an hour away and with our busy work schedules it was difficult to get to see each other but we made it work.. Until one night he told me he has PTSD from serving in the Military and that he makes a terrible boyfriend! I knew NOTHING about PTSD!! He went into a little detail about his experiences and told me that he is not the same man he use to be.
After our conversation he began to push me away.. No communication and No replies to texts or calls. I gave him space but he then told me I deserve better and he can't give me the relationship that I deserve. I was Heart broken!
After a few weeks of feeling sorry for myself I decided to pick up the pieces and work on myself, physically,emotionally,and mentally. I learned to LOVE myself... Flaws and All! After months of little communication from My Man he came back into my life wanting to rekindle what we had.. I accepted whole heartedly!
During our time a part I did a lot of research about PTSD and I learned that a lot of our problems stemmed from that.
We have been together for 6 months now. I explained to him that we need to take things SLOW!! We are in a fairly young relationship yet but I can say that I have enjoyed getting to know him... Even on the bad days and there have been Bad days.. He is Not abusive and Does Not use alcohol or drugs as a coping mechanism.. His bad days basically consist of little sleep ( nightmares) and mood swings.. Going from seemingly ok to getting angry over small things,and times of silence.
I would say the hardest part is knowing what I can do to better help on those tough days!! I am a very loving, giving, and affectionate person but I feel like on those days I need to hold back on the affection and give him his space.. But yet I want him to know that I'm here and still care despite his bad day! It can be a little tricky!!!
I am learning a lot about myself in this relationship.. I'm learning that I am a lot stronger than I ever knew, my patience has been tested but am learning how to stay calm amidst the trials, and I've learned how to Love.. To TRULY LOVE.. Not just on a physical level but on a totally encompassing level of mind,body,and soul.. Do I agree with him 100% all of the time? No but I'm learning that I don't have too.. We just have to work at understanding each other.
Is this relationship easy and like a "typical" relationship?!? No.. But is Any relationship easy?!? To me this relationship is one of the hardest I've been through BUT it's been Well Worth It to me.. I just hope it is for him too!! He has given me soooo much without him even realizing it in a way of self discovery for me. He has made me a better person and No Matter what happens in Our Future I will Always be appreciative of that!!
I guess I just wanted to get Our Story out there.. I find it difficult to talk to family and friends about Us because they just don't understand..they feel that his times of silence means that he just doesn't care about me and that I'm not a priority to him. They think that this will Never work and that I'm just wasting my time.. Unfortunately hearing this makes me wonder sometimes and leaves me feeling negative about Us so I tend to not share much with my friends which leaves me a little sad cause I want them to know how happy I am but they continue to judge him and to me that's not fair to him. I guess my private life needs to be just that... Private.
I hope that Our story helps someone know that with a Lot of patience, Understanding, and trying to see things from another's perspective and trying to understand ( the best we can)without taking things personally ( that's a really tough part for me) that a relationship with someone with PTSD can be Wonderful and Fulfilling!
Thanks for Reading and I would appreciate any responses! I feel like the more we can learn from each other the better we will be!!
I'm new to this site but would like to say that I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the posts on here. I have found it truly enlightening and helpful as I have embarked on a journey with a man with PTSD.
My story began a year and a half ago..I met a man who ( for the first time) I could see a future with. He swept me off my feet and I had this gut instinct that he was someone who I wanted to spend the rest of my life getting to know. We dated for 3 months. He lives an hour away and with our busy work schedules it was difficult to get to see each other but we made it work.. Until one night he told me he has PTSD from serving in the Military and that he makes a terrible boyfriend! I knew NOTHING about PTSD!! He went into a little detail about his experiences and told me that he is not the same man he use to be.
After our conversation he began to push me away.. No communication and No replies to texts or calls. I gave him space but he then told me I deserve better and he can't give me the relationship that I deserve. I was Heart broken!
After a few weeks of feeling sorry for myself I decided to pick up the pieces and work on myself, physically,emotionally,and mentally. I learned to LOVE myself... Flaws and All! After months of little communication from My Man he came back into my life wanting to rekindle what we had.. I accepted whole heartedly!
During our time a part I did a lot of research about PTSD and I learned that a lot of our problems stemmed from that.
We have been together for 6 months now. I explained to him that we need to take things SLOW!! We are in a fairly young relationship yet but I can say that I have enjoyed getting to know him... Even on the bad days and there have been Bad days.. He is Not abusive and Does Not use alcohol or drugs as a coping mechanism.. His bad days basically consist of little sleep ( nightmares) and mood swings.. Going from seemingly ok to getting angry over small things,and times of silence.
I would say the hardest part is knowing what I can do to better help on those tough days!! I am a very loving, giving, and affectionate person but I feel like on those days I need to hold back on the affection and give him his space.. But yet I want him to know that I'm here and still care despite his bad day! It can be a little tricky!!!
I am learning a lot about myself in this relationship.. I'm learning that I am a lot stronger than I ever knew, my patience has been tested but am learning how to stay calm amidst the trials, and I've learned how to Love.. To TRULY LOVE.. Not just on a physical level but on a totally encompassing level of mind,body,and soul.. Do I agree with him 100% all of the time? No but I'm learning that I don't have too.. We just have to work at understanding each other.
Is this relationship easy and like a "typical" relationship?!? No.. But is Any relationship easy?!? To me this relationship is one of the hardest I've been through BUT it's been Well Worth It to me.. I just hope it is for him too!! He has given me soooo much without him even realizing it in a way of self discovery for me. He has made me a better person and No Matter what happens in Our Future I will Always be appreciative of that!!
I guess I just wanted to get Our Story out there.. I find it difficult to talk to family and friends about Us because they just don't understand..they feel that his times of silence means that he just doesn't care about me and that I'm not a priority to him. They think that this will Never work and that I'm just wasting my time.. Unfortunately hearing this makes me wonder sometimes and leaves me feeling negative about Us so I tend to not share much with my friends which leaves me a little sad cause I want them to know how happy I am but they continue to judge him and to me that's not fair to him. I guess my private life needs to be just that... Private.
I hope that Our story helps someone know that with a Lot of patience, Understanding, and trying to see things from another's perspective and trying to understand ( the best we can)without taking things personally ( that's a really tough part for me) that a relationship with someone with PTSD can be Wonderful and Fulfilling!
Thanks for Reading and I would appreciate any responses! I feel like the more we can learn from each other the better we will be!!
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