I've Just Been Triggered By Something Very Trivial; And This Is Not Uncommon For Me.

[MrNobody]

So I'm ordering from a restaurant online, and I see a menu item that brings me back to the past (macaroni salad, the cold kind served with a white sauce). This triggered a memory of me from my grade school years, at my 6th grade graduation banquet. There, I ate the same menu item that I just saw in the present-day. I remember then that I took a lot of the macaroni thinking I would like it, but I didn't, and tried to get someone else to eat it. It's just really messed up that I didn't even have to smell the food to bring me back to this memory.

And like I said: This isn't an uncommon occurrence for me. The subtlest sights, sounds, and smells can make me recall something really major for me. I've been chronically bullied, so there have been many events in my life that, when recalled, WILL make me nervous. Usually, when I can recall these memories, I find it best to just pull the bed covers over my head and think about it until it stops bothering me. Because if these memories come, they just kill my motivation to do ANYTHING. Sometimes, books or video games will distract me, but other times, I'll find something in what I'm doing that reminds me of the past. And I'm sick of people telling me to get over the past, when I just can't let go of it.

 

[jesse]

I am sorry that you are going through this right now. I think you are being hard on yourself there must be something about the macaroni salad that is a reminder of your trauma. I do not think it is trivial but perhaps a stepping stone to understanding what triggers you and I hope that knowledge helps you in some way. ((((Hugs))))