Just Woke Up From Nightmare That Makes Me Want To Do "the Dog Thing"

[lostforgottensoul]

Are you willing to let your therapist read some of this

Sure. Theres nothing he doesnt he dodsnt know.

 

[The Albatross]

"...maybe if i can just per him, hug him, or even tell HIM about the dream; maybe that is a type of exposure therapy where im not associating porn/sex w/ dogs w/ the dream anymore" sounds like a goal challenge to me. Hope you'll seriously consider it and endeavor to try gal.

We can best/beat the hardwiring... it takes practice, patience, persistence, perseverance and (optional for secular peeps prayer/spiritual connection). Somewhere I have an expanded list of the "P's" now, quite a number of them... over 20? But to crack the behavior you always start with the core 4 or 5.

 

[The Albatross]

Random thought... can you/are you willing to stop objectifying the animal you love and just love and allow it to love you in a more appropriate way?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Random thought... can you/are you willing to stop objectifying the animal you love and just love and allow it to love you in a more appropriate way?

Not sure what objectifying my animal means, he's still a dog that i care for, buy the best food for, exersice, hug & pet him, play w/ him w/ toys, train him etc.

Can i? Im trying!

Willing to? Yes, thats why im trying

 

[The Albatross]

You are manipulating the animal for your ritual. It is not normal or natural behavior. You drive your own cyclical behaviors for self pleasure in a manner that is not consistent for your own animal companions innate and natural behaviors. Will you elevate your love for your companion above your own personal sexual needs?

Create a plan of action/strategy to diffuse your propensity? Quit the reactivity... slicing and dicing what is shared and try to open your mind to apply it? It could happen.

Link Removed

 

[lostforgottensoul]

we dont think youre a horrible person. i hope you are resting after writing that. writing out a trauma as descriptive as that has to be exhausting. but posting you did alot of heavy lifting.

Im working but fixing people's internet takes my mind off of things; numb really though after the blame shifted Thursday night or rather early AM friday, i can feel my child self in the day which is new.

You are not a demon child, that sick twisted man and those with them are the evil ones. they should feel your shame etc and its so unfair that you do instead. Please take care of yourself.

Thank you! Im trying and though a few cant see it, i am fighting like hell to get better. Being brainwashed is VERY hard to change to say the least! My brain says "god said to so i must" and thats very hard to change.

Thank you for you're very kind reply!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

You are manipulating the animal for your ritual. It is not normal or natural behavior. You drive...

Obviously you do not understand cult brainwashing and why a person that grew up in a satanic cult would redo rituals as an adult and the way you discribe it is not the way it is AT ALL.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

So can you create an action plan or strategy to employ so that you can disarm the trigger and the maladaptive behavior/ritual with your dog?

Sure, or can try my best as thats what im here for, to debunk cult beliefs, rituals, punishments in my head. Bookmarked both links.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/sociopolitica/illuminati/svali1_04.htm

This might help some to underatand. I havent read it all and have bookmarked it but rituals ARE NOT done as malious, to harm my dog (though the the most common ritual was killing, draining the blood out of small animals and drinking it then using the remainder to pour over us while having sex) i have not physically hurt an animal since i moved out. They are not done to boost my ego, for even my sexual urges as i do have a hand for that.

They are done because i was programmed to do them and my brain tells me i must because "god" says to do it.

I dont want to, i want to and trying to change the behaviors or i would have never posted it.

Some great ideas in here, thank you!

 

[The Albatross]

Come out of denial on your own impulses... clearly they are not generally beneficial.

You are, ultimately, responsible for your own behaviors in as much as you may be (you didn't answer if/when) you were/are SAFE.

 

[The Albatross]

Don't either presume that I don't have a level of understanding on cults or Satanism. If you please. I actually DO. Not to the abuse levels that you've had or a peer friend of mine certainly... but supposition on your part is a detriment. Nor is self inflicted ritualism. The remedy for my indoctrinated peer... was actually the alternative spiritual position. Giving blessings. Which in my mind was an "about face" toward an alterative perception/perspective... but I don't particularly want to confuse spiritual issues with your experience.

If you, though accept and believe that you're indoctrination was Satanist... have you paused to consider that the cure/remedy to your core belief may be exactly the opposite? Just askin'.

 

[The Albatross]

I and others did not infer that you "harmed your dog"... I did though state that you maladaptively and opptornistually use the animal in a way that is self harming/driving the cycle and also unnatural to the animals base behaviors.

Can you condition an animal to acquiesce? Surely... but it is a manipulation on your part after all.