Life Is Scary

[Casey_03]

I didn't know where to put this thread, apologies if this is misplaced. A friend of mine has confided in me that he was just diagnosed with HIV and has no idea how he got it. I don't know him well enough to know about his sex life and whether or not he is careful, but he is brainstorming all the ways he could have gotten it - medical work in Eastern Europe, working in Lebanon, etc .... and this is just so scary. He's only 24. I feel helpless to offer him any comforting advice. At the same time, I feel guilty to say this, but I can't help but feel lucky that I have dodged so many bullets in my life so far. His situation really puts mine in perspective. Which is terrible.

 

[Kintsugi]

That is scary, Casey, but it's not terrible that you feel his struggles put yours into perspective.

When I worked at a gas station, one day a young woman came in who I rarely saw. The gas station was sort of the neighborhood's catch-all store, with almost entirely regular patrons, and I was famous for my upbeat attitude. Anyway, she asked how I was, and even though I normally would answer that I was fantastic, I said I wasn't doing so great. She looked at me, gave me a bright smile, and said, "Oh, honey. If you had brain cancer like me, you'd be screwed."

I still think about that interaction on a weekly basis. It really had an effect on how I interact with people and how I frame my personal day-to-day tribulations.

 

[Socha]

HIV is manageable with the right medication and the right care and treatment. And patients can live a mostly normal life when they get medical care to prevent AIDS and addapt a healthy lifestyle, keep infections under control ect.
I think emotion-wise in many ways it's not that much different than dealing with any other serious condition or maybe even PTSD. For me personally it would be helpful to know exactly what it is, how it works, what I need to do, get emotional support in any form I feel comfortable with. Building a support system, find a way to express myself, get in touch with people who go through similar things.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@Socha
Sort of similar thigns help as with PTSD :p
But yea, @Casey_03 if you are not familiar too much with HIV and how it works and progresses to AIDS; I recommend to watch this:

short and compact.

HIV is really treatable, and can be lived with. Hoping he is able to get treatment and proper care :hug:

 

[Casey_03]

No, I am familiar with it, I researched it extensively as a reporter. I suppose my initial post made me seem somewhat ignorant, but I know about treatment. I think it is more terrifying here in Ukraine for the stigma attached to it -- people with HIV are shunned more and mistreated here, so thinking of him having to deal with it here is really terrifying. He may actually have to give up his job because of it. Medications are also scarce here, a lot of HIV patients are left untreated. There are just so many uncertainties to be facing at 24 years old ... I tried to advise him as best I could, i told him it's manageable and he'll be fine, but after having covered HIV/AIDS in Russia and Ukraine for years, I know he faces an uphill battle.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Man, that situation sucks.

Here we are lucky that when HIV was spreading, we were really shitty, so the number of HIV patients in the whole country is veeery small. About 1000 people from 1985 till now. And about a third got to AIDS.

I'm sorry, aren't there any healthcare systems in place for treatment or similar? I'd like to know more

 

[Casey_03]

Theoretically, there are supposed to be healthcare systems in place, but in reality, many patients are left without medications here. It's complicated, but the main issue is in the pharmaceutical companies the government pays for medications -- many of the medications are questionable quality and not up to European standards, there are delays with deliveries, clinics often run out of supplies. The country's Health Ministry really isn't good with medications (not only for HIV, but other illnesses as well - the World Health Organization has repeatedly had to visit to scold the government here, and even that hasn't changed things). And it's actually worse in Russia, because there it's as if the government refuses to acknowledge it has an epidemic ... Ugh. He would be better off moving to another country to deal with this. Maybe that's what i should advise him to do.

 

[ladee]

Maybe that would be part of his solution. If y'all already know how hard it is going to be to get treatment, then going somewhere that will help him is very important. I am so grateful he has a loving and supportive friends as you are to him, to help him with what is ahead. sending gentle:hug:'s to both of you if accepted.

 

[hodge]

That's horrible, Casey. I would advise him to move to a better country. Definitely. Crap, he's only 24? If he had the right medical care, he could expect to live a pretty longish life. I am very glad for him that you are in his life.