Other Long Term Effects Of Stalking?

Rebecca1515

New Here
Oh my gosh girl you have been thru it. I could not longer work either in fear of him finding me (even tho he is dead) He still lives in my brain. I did get disability for PSTD and I cannot understand why they didn't give it to you. It's a very real condition as all of us on here know. I tried to work a retail job for a bit but I couldn't keep my eyes of the door watching for him. I still cannot go to the grocery store or take my dog for a walk. Anything that means being out in public scares me. I too wish I could give you some advice and say it gets better but it doesn't. I got married last January because I thought I would feel safe, NOT! I am getting divorced now because there are very few men who want a paranoid crazy woman. I jump at a touch, a noise and just about anything. I am looking for a place to move now and will do so after Christmas. Take care
 

Lost At Sea

New Here
My panic attack/anxiety finally stopped last night. Relief is wonderful.

I had a boyfriend, a guy I met while working on a ship. He is a wonderful guy but after that ship, it was hard to talk to him. He tried. He really did. He stuck with me but I could see what the garbage in my head was doing to him and so I let us drift apart. I reached out to him after the ex contacted me but I haven't heard back. I really don't want to suck him back in. I'm kind of like a black hole at times, sucking all the good and life out of good people like him. I would get married if I could find the right guy, but I do know he's going to have to be an exceptional guy. I kind of have a suspicion that if I find one who also has PTSD, that maybe we'd work out since we could understand each other's problems. Hopefully it would be more mutual aid not mutual destruction.

I hope it works out for you with the move and divorce. That's hard too.
 

Rebecca1515

New Here
Simple Simon,
I am sorry for all you have been thru, I too was stalked for a year. He knew where all my family lived and also stalked me when I would go see my Mom. He had 13 aggravated stalking warrants against him, 5 breaking and entering my apt, interruption of a 911 call and several terrorist threats. He would rent different cars so I would not know he was there. He would call me and tell me what I bought at the grocery store and I never knew he was there. I was forced to go to a safe house because the police could not protect me 24 hours a day. I was able to go to work if they came and walked me to my car and had to take a different route everyday to work. Then at work they would send an officer to the office and he stood in the corner while I worked (this part only went on for a short period). He wanted suicide by cop and had called and told them that. He also wanted me to see him die. Well he did die about 3 days before he was to be sentenced after they finally caught him. I to this day do not know how he died and never got to see his body because his family refused to let me. To my mind he is still out there. This anxiety and PTSD will be the death of me. I can't be in a relationship anymore. Everyone is a suspect to me.
 
H

Hopehelps

I have been verifiably stalked by at least three people.

I have CPTSD, PTSD and I've been stalked for the past 4 years. Whoever it is wears a mask and has been in my home a few times while the kids and I were asleep upstairs. It started out just piss on the door and has escalated to the point he's taken screws out of anti kick bars then come back at lunch time for me. If a mate hadn't been there...
Anyway I'm replying so you know which symptoms are worse. I've cut my friends to 3.I keep having panic attacks. I haven't been on a date in years. I don't trust anyone. I'm a hermit and we hardly use downstairs. I am so hyper aware it's beyond words. I'm frightened for the kids and me all the time. I overcame my fear of authority asked for help from police and doctors- Police lost the A4 list I gave them and passed me onto crisis team because I was crying down phone begging them to do something to help, in fairness I'm in one piece and they're skint. Doctors don't believe me because I've been beaten and raped in my home before, they think it's related to that and when I explain it's real they mutter paranoia. So I end up screaming I'm not crazy, and they think I'm crazy. Mood swings are stupid, one min I'm more scared than a baby rabbit facing wolves, the next I want to kill all men (No offence if you're lucky enough to know any good ones, apparently they do exist, I've just never met any). I also feel guilty for somehow bringing this on myself and letting the fear win.
Don't know if this will help anyone, I hope it does. One day it will get better, love to you, we can get through anything.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

hope4us

Policy Enforcement
1. i never go outside without a weapon on me.
2. i isolate myself more than i ever have before, and i enjoy being alone most of the time.
3. if i see an incoming call from an unknown number i wont answer it. i have to hear their voice first to make sure its not him.
4. i cut people off quicker than ever before, i use to be afraid to lose friends. now the littlest thing will make me cut a person out of my life
5. i scream and jump sometimes because for a split second i think someone is sneaking up behind me. when in reality it was just the backpack on the floor that i set down there a few hours ago.
6. ive hallucinated him breaking into my house through the window, one time i walked out of the bathroom an thought he was sitting in my kitchen chair, i screamed, jumped, and ran. it was just my blanket on the chair.
7. i dont do well with dark moving shadows. one time i got so freaked out, i was dizzy and had to lay down, and when i rolled over i screamed cause i thought he was standing there.
8. i get up and walk across my room, the phone charger lightly brushes against my leg as i walk into it, and it makes me scream at the top of my lungs. a reflex that i have no control over.

and this is just the stalking related stuff, if i included how everything he did affected me, the list would be miles longer.
no one has ever done a number on me like he did.
i dont feel like im the same person anymore, im completely different,
he took a part of me from myself, i feel sad, damaged, and lost right now.
 

Friday

Moderator
PTSD + Stalking >>> No matter how small the task, if it's within the area of 'being f*cked with' there are now a bazillion steps that "must" be taken in order to avoid it ...OR... somehow coming to the DGAF about it being f*cked with. (OMFG. Bliss.) The steps & the thinking, however equates to a huge overlay of stress, which means spiking PTSD symptoms, which -for me- means avoidance of those things which are kicking up my stress levels, and even more planning (to account for increased symptoms), and even less trusting my own judgment (because my symptoms are ramping up!) Evil. Evil. Circle. Of. Just f*ck it. :banghead:
I’m doing a variation of THIS / front-loading emotions, right now.

“If I want to APPEAR normal, for 10 minutes? Spend 2 days having all the lashing out thrashing pissed off 😡 😭 🤬 😎 reactions FIRST” ...so I can keep them from leaking out into a conversation that will not -in any way- be a by my dumping my personal shit into the mix.

It feels like doing witness-prep.

Get all the hard questions reacted to /overreacted to in advance, so that on the day? They don’t cause you to lose your shit.

f*ckload of work for 10 minutes of quasi-normal.
 
Top