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Childhood Looking for encouragement

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Hey there, I think I'm looking for a sounding board, some encouragement and "how to". I'm a 40y/o woman, I have cystic fibrosis and lost my mother 2 years ago. On and off since then, I have been having increased anxiety over loosing my mother to MS and my health. On top of that I have been recalling an instance from when I was around about gr 5, where a neighboring friend a little older than me pressured me into touching one another. I'm having a hard time fully remembering what happened, but other parts I can recall so vividly as though it were yesterday, and it's making my stomach churn. I do have some up coming therapy type sessions with my social worker in a couple weeks, to help cope with anxiety as I know in the past anxiety has compounded my health problems and landed me in hospital, I don't want to go that route obvi, if I can help it. After my conversation with her today, I got home and tonight, I think it has clicked that this may be a part of my issues these last couple years (I've had a number of hospital stays). I've never talked to anyone about this, and I've realized it keeps plaguing my thoughts. How do you open up and tell someone something you logically know wasn't your fault but it's been pushed down for 30 years and feels like your dirty little secret? My social worker is truly amazing, I've known her for 20 years, she knows all my little secrets.... that was until I came to this realization, and it still feels gut wrenching. How do you start the conversation?
I don't believe I do, and I've never been diagnosed as such. So I think it's a safe bet to say no.
It may sound trite, but “I need to talk to you about something that’s been bothering me…”
I don't think it sounds that way, and I thank you. It may sound simple, but it is honestly what I asked for. It took a lot for me to even ask in the first place as this is the first time it's even been "spoken", aside from the long run on sentence in my head, it's never been admitted. So, truly, thank you for helping me even start.
I don't believe I do, and I've never been diagnosed as such. So I think it's a safe bet to say no.
You may note that the name of this site is MyPTSD.

That’s both our mission: “MyPTSD exists to help and inform those who are directly or indirectly affected by these conditions through providing peer-to-peer support and educational resources.” …as well as the wealth & benefit of experience in our membership.

Aproximately 80% of people will experience life threatening trauma or sexual assault in their lifetime, but only apx 1:5 of those people will go onto develop PTSD. Dozens of possible disorders/conditions -or none at all- MAY result following trauma. 10 people can experience the same exact trauma & experience 10 completely different results. This site’s purpose is focused exclusively only one possible outcome, following trauma; PTSD/CPTSD.

For more generalized trauma & mental health resources, I would enthusiastically recommend NAMI, or RAINN for sexual assault.

If you’re in crisis, or feeling suicidal (USA)

If you’re looking to connect with trained listeners, in real time

Best Wishes,
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