I am having such problems with my social life that I feel like crying every minute of the day, Can you have a good relationship with PTSD? My meds started being less then effective of late so my doctor put me on new ones well 2 weeks after being on them I became very agitated angrey over nothing (not violent) and my GF was the brunt of it after seeing how stupid it was I didnt take those meds again and went on teh celexa with a higher dosage now I feel better however I think that it may have destroyed my relationship. I feel so depressed.....
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Lost In A Relationship
- Post starter NCO1969
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Welcome Knight Templar, I see this is your first post.
We all have similar stories to share thats why this site is such a great one. For instance, I recently changed meds too.
I thought the ones I were on were not working, so they are trialing me on a new one. The stupid mistake I made was thinking I could wean myself off the old ones before the new ones had built up enough.
It proved that the old ones were working, it was just my state of mind. I causes so much hurt to my fiancee and family and am still mending what I broke (if that makes sense). I already lost one marriage to PTSD and don't want to lose another. I have to wait six weeks till the new medication properly builds up before I can wean off the old ones.
There is a problem with the different SSRI medications though. Some you have to totally wean yourself off prior to starting a new one, and others you can stop taking and start the new one. With the majority of them though, you have to wait a while for the levels to build up and for them to be effective.
Hopefully you GF loves you and understands that it was the symptoms of PTSD talking and not you. Make sure you tell her that its not personal.
The biggest lesson I learnt though Knight Templar is that realistically you should adjust your medication under doctors orders.
P.S. Love your Avatar, but hope its nothing like the dude Anders Breivik from Oslo. He was a big Knight Templar fan.
We all have similar stories to share thats why this site is such a great one. For instance, I recently changed meds too.
I thought the ones I were on were not working, so they are trialing me on a new one. The stupid mistake I made was thinking I could wean myself off the old ones before the new ones had built up enough.
It proved that the old ones were working, it was just my state of mind. I causes so much hurt to my fiancee and family and am still mending what I broke (if that makes sense). I already lost one marriage to PTSD and don't want to lose another. I have to wait six weeks till the new medication properly builds up before I can wean off the old ones.
There is a problem with the different SSRI medications though. Some you have to totally wean yourself off prior to starting a new one, and others you can stop taking and start the new one. With the majority of them though, you have to wait a while for the levels to build up and for them to be effective.
Hopefully you GF loves you and understands that it was the symptoms of PTSD talking and not you. Make sure you tell her that its not personal.
The biggest lesson I learnt though Knight Templar is that realistically you should adjust your medication under doctors orders.
P.S. Love your Avatar, but hope its nothing like the dude Anders Breivik from Oslo. He was a big Knight Templar fan.
Misera1013
Silver Member
I will second what Jimmy said about only adjusting your meds under doctor's orders.
I've taken myself off of anti-depressants so many times in the past, and I end up right back on them. You don't realize that they are working, and change it, only to regret it. My doctors always say that I am a sucky doctor... I guess I am. LOL! Oh well, I'll try better this time, and that is all we can do. Good luck with the GF. It is hard on any significant other when their partner has PTSD.
I've taken myself off of anti-depressants so many times in the past, and I end up right back on them. You don't realize that they are working, and change it, only to regret it. My doctors always say that I am a sucky doctor... I guess I am. LOL! Oh well, I'll try better this time, and that is all we can do. Good luck with the GF. It is hard on any significant other when their partner has PTSD.
- Post starter
- #4
Thank you for the inputs, I feel so lost, my GF has pushed me away and now I have the pain in my heart from it. I tried to explain that the new meds I am on has only been 3-4 days and that I didnt mean what had happened. SHe said that meds doesnt control the person and it was an excuse. I am now dealing with the after effects of that choice, I guess i wanted to much to fast perhaps. It seems I am moving 100 miles an hour at times until the meds wear off.
What really bothered me she was afraid of what I could be capable of because of the stories I told her of about my service, what she didnt know is she was my anchor and I would never cause her ill I just don't have it in me I just needed the Patience, love and comfort of being safe. Dam this thing sneaks up on you. When you receive those question tests from the VA about PTSD it doesn't let you really hammer the other issues that effect us.
I am lucky to have my family to help me thru this but I dont think they really understand fully what I am going thru all they know is that I wreck the bed from tossing and turning all night when alone.
As for my Avatar thank you I love the Templars always has and no I am not like that idiot Anders or the Mexican gang in Mexico. I am in the Masonic order and they have always been a symbol in my life.
What really bothered me she was afraid of what I could be capable of because of the stories I told her of about my service, what she didnt know is she was my anchor and I would never cause her ill I just don't have it in me I just needed the Patience, love and comfort of being safe. Dam this thing sneaks up on you. When you receive those question tests from the VA about PTSD it doesn't let you really hammer the other issues that effect us.
I am lucky to have my family to help me thru this but I dont think they really understand fully what I am going thru all they know is that I wreck the bed from tossing and turning all night when alone.
As for my Avatar thank you I love the Templars always has and no I am not like that idiot Anders or the Mexican gang in Mexico. I am in the Masonic order and they have always been a symbol in my life.
Its good that you have something, hopefully you can find some strength in the Masons.
As for your girlfriend, it was probably just misunderstanding, sorry if I am blunt, but maybe your better off. My wife tried to come back to me and went on the PTSD course with me. When she found out what she could expect, she said she could not continue and that was the end.
It took me nearly four years to find someone who accepts PTSD. She does not necessarily like it and hates when I go off sometimes, but she knows its not me meaning to do it.
There is a post here I think of when to tell your partner you have PTSD. Its a touchy subject as a lot of people don't understand it. I used Anthony's document 'Understanding PTSD', and in my opinion, I think its important to discuss the subject early on in the relationship so there are no 'sour grapes' so to speak.
As for your girlfriend, it was probably just misunderstanding, sorry if I am blunt, but maybe your better off. My wife tried to come back to me and went on the PTSD course with me. When she found out what she could expect, she said she could not continue and that was the end.
It took me nearly four years to find someone who accepts PTSD. She does not necessarily like it and hates when I go off sometimes, but she knows its not me meaning to do it.
There is a post here I think of when to tell your partner you have PTSD. Its a touchy subject as a lot of people don't understand it. I used Anthony's document 'Understanding PTSD', and in my opinion, I think its important to discuss the subject early on in the relationship so there are no 'sour grapes' so to speak.
abnvet
Gold Member
Welcome KT!
Read around some and you'll find that many of us have similar stories. IMO our families/friends just wish to understand why we act the way we do. At times they don't know how to handle the stories when told. I can relate to this- my wife nagged me constantly wanting to know why I had nightmares and sleptwalked. After a long period after I returned I kept this to myself. Finally when I let her in on a little of the story, she felt threatened. This eventually lead us to a divorce. BUT now I'm remarried and my wife today wants to know and has been there alongside of me during the long nights. I understand certain people just can't deal with the truth.
Read around some and you'll find that many of us have similar stories. IMO our families/friends just wish to understand why we act the way we do. At times they don't know how to handle the stories when told. I can relate to this- my wife nagged me constantly wanting to know why I had nightmares and sleptwalked. After a long period after I returned I kept this to myself. Finally when I let her in on a little of the story, she felt threatened. This eventually lead us to a divorce. BUT now I'm remarried and my wife today wants to know and has been there alongside of me during the long nights. I understand certain people just can't deal with the truth.
- Post starter
- #7
I truly feel comfort in all your inputs and stories. I will read more on everything here so that I may learn about this. Its amazing it sounds most here did what I did just kinda sucked it up and tried to make it thru feeling that it was just part of the repercussions of WAR. My GF did feel threaten not knowing what I was capable of, ya know we all know what we are capable of and hurting a loved one physically is not one of them. With my my emotions if not put in check are x5 or more depending on issue. I find that when worried I dwell or sleep alot. Another thing that I notice is that I want to run and experience new wonders It maybe because I saw so much death and know that we are here today gone tomorrow or its the fact that I try to fill the void that feels so dam num with something. I am debating on buying a Harley, not to be a daredevil but to fill my rush.. I think I am going to also focus on myself for now and try to get stronger and heal.
Again Thank you all...
Again Thank you all...
Hey Knight,
I have been a motorcycle rider for my whole life (started riding at about 8 yrs old). I love it. I know this is going to be sacrilegious, but I can't do Harleys. I find them too loud. But I love my two. One is an older Yamaha Virago 1100 that I use for commuting. The second is a BMW K1200RS, that is my fun bike. It is not a racer, but it is damn fast enough. It is big enough to fit my big ass on it as well as my girlfriend and still have enough get-up-and-go to be a rush when you get on it. I also think that it is no surprise that after WWII many American veterans found a replacement for the camaraderie, excitement, danger and speed of life during war in motorcycles. As well as starting the first "Biker" gangs. I imagine that most of the rough and tumble of those days was vets trying to deal with their PTSD....
Hello Knight
I too have had a lot of trouble trying to convince my girlfriend that what happened at work can't happen at home.
I think Jimmy nailed it, you have to start out telling the past, explaining where it's left you.
You are where you are and have strengths that no-one who hasn't been through it has.
I think it makes us more solid and reliable, and gentler, as a consequence.
Good luck.
I too have had a lot of trouble trying to convince my girlfriend that what happened at work can't happen at home.
I think Jimmy nailed it, you have to start out telling the past, explaining where it's left you.
You are where you are and have strengths that no-one who hasn't been through it has.
I think it makes us more solid and reliable, and gentler, as a consequence.
Good luck.
[quote="Good insight there Fargo on Hells Angels too, beats Mods and girly scooters.[/quote]
Come on Ned you have to admit that there is one good reason for Mods and girly scooters—there is a certain teenaged angst fantasy about driving up on a Harley with Levi's and a leather jacket and picking up one of those mod girls....I mean Leslie Ash in Quadrophenia...Raaaoooowwwwllll.
Come on Ned you have to admit that there is one good reason for Mods and girly scooters—there is a certain teenaged angst fantasy about driving up on a Harley with Levi's and a leather jacket and picking up one of those mod girls....I mean Leslie Ash in Quadrophenia...Raaaoooowwwwllll.
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