Lost Trust - T Not Returning Phonecalls While In Hospital

[419can.dance]

So… I was recently hospitalized and my therapist normally calls me when I am in the hospital. I called her when I made it into the hospital and she didn’t return my phone call. I called her when I was in a crisis where nobody else will understand and she didn’t return my phone calls. I called her one last time when I really really really needed to talk to somebody that would understand where I am coming from. After a year of being with my therapist I have never felt helpless or alone. Her not returning my phone calls while in the hospital make me feel so alone and I guess let down. I am contemplating switching therapist because I trust and her has been betrayed. She was a huge link on my support system. Am I overreacting? Could there possibly be a good reason she didn’t call me back the three times I called her?

 

[Ronin]

Are you sure she had her phone on her, or sound on, or it was not stolen from her?

(If she is otherwise reliable, I would consider maybe it is some technical and availability issue, instead of her availability and willingness, one?)

 

[FauxLiz]

I am not saying this is the case but when I was hospitalized my outpatient T told me he would not respond to calls or emails as he was not going to interfere with the treatment and treatment plan in place that he was not privy too. It was hard and it didn't mean that I still didn't reach out to him through email while I was there but it wasn't addressed until I was discharged and back in an outpatient setting.

ETA: The hospital may have communicated with your T requesting that they not have contact with you while inpatient. You won't know what happened unless you talk to your therapist.

 

[Orange Phone]

I agree that you want to find out more information.

 

[Friday]

Could there possibly be a good reason she didn’t call me back the three times I called her?

Of course. Dozens of good reasons.

Maybe you owe it to her -and to yourself- to find out what happened? Especially since, as you say, every single other time she’s been there. So this is something of an unusual & unexpected event.

I mean, you’re talking betrayal and broken trust... before you even know IF she got your messages. Unless she runs a 24/7/365 crisis line (with backup phones should one be lost, damaged, or stolen; and never going on holiday; never getting sick), that’s jumping the gun just a bit, wouldn’t you say?

If you were in the hospital a short period of time, she may not even know you were there if there were phone, illness, or holiday issues. If you were there for more than a week she may well have called and spoken with your treatment team.

You’ve got a whole boatload of what if’s and maybes... But you won’t have answers until you talk to her.

I know it’s a bit late... but it saves a lot of heartbreak to wait for answers, rather than just assuming the worst.

 

[EveHarrington]

I am not saying this is the case but when I was hospitalized my outpatient T told me he would not respond to calls or emails as he was not going to interfere with the treatment and treatment plan in place that he was not privy too. It was hard and it didn't mean that I still didn't reach out to him through email while I was there but it wasn't addressed until I was discharged and back in an outpatient setting.

ETA: The hospital may have communicated with your T requesting that they not have contact with you while inpatient. You won't know what happened unless you talk to your therapist.

This is a very likely scenario. Inpatient providers don’t like outpatient providers to get involved aside from filling in the blanks of your history. This is just so that there isn’t any conflict in treatment that could make things more difficult for you. :hug:

 

[419can.dance]

Thank you everyone for your responses. I meet with her this Saturday and I will definitely ask. I have been “abandoned” so many times I guess it is just a mortal fear of mine. I’m sure she has a great reason for not calling me back. She has been a great therapist and I’m just letting my head get away with my emotions.

 

[Abstract]

Agreed that treatment providers often dont want outside input so that it doesn't muddy the treatment they are doing. Lots of other possibilities too. Different actions to the past could be different rules for the hospital and could also be that she is changing approach a bit. It sounds like you have been in hospital a lot so obviously changing something fundamental is really important. Fears of abandonment can even keep people sick at times. Not assuming that is the case for you and rather just putting it out there.

 

[CelticHarp]

Hi, Just want to tell you that my therapist never returned my call when I was hospitalized. Meanwhile me friend's therapist will visit her when on the psych ward. I'm glad you will have an appointment on Saturday.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

What your T is doing is common accepted practice, patients often engage in "splitting", it can be disruptive with the exception of a outpatient therapists involvement with a inpatient doctor/social worker/therapist doing a speaker phone call with you present to discuss a matter. It's not splitting because everyone is in the conversation to reach a common goal.

My first T years ago did the same thing
My last T did
And my current one does too.

This statement from your post says it all

"he was not going to interfere with the treatment and treatment plan in place that he was not privy too"

Do a google search on "Splitting: Bringing in That Third Party" and read the article.

I think in doing so you will understand why splitting can be disruptive with inpatient hospitalizations.


Recently I was hospitalized for a bi-polar depressive episode. My interact then I limited to telling where I was at, why I was there, and that I was following my safety plan and safety contract while in the hospital. I suspect this kind of contact is not a problem with your T. But person to person is for ethical reasons.

As for your friends T visiting her on psych ward, that does happen in certain cases, where the patient is know to be less likely to engage in splitting. Also since the T is there physically any issues that come up are privy to the inpatient treatment team.

I did have a T only once visit me inpatient and the visit was very specific and was to address my needs and to setup a new outpatient program.

I would suggest re-evaluation your distrust from this. He really did what he supposed to do. And did so looking out for your best interests. But you could tell him/her how you feel about this and what you understand and reach an acceptable middle ground that gets what you want to some degree while not allowing for splitting to occur.