Love or being in love

[Gs172003]

I think we can all only speak from our own experience @Zoogal

By “romantic love...

That was not my intent. The typical idea of romantic love is fleeting. If that's not what happened with you then that's wonderful.

 

[Cyberluddite]

To love another is a trait all humans are born with. It's something we carry within ourselves every moment of every day, it's the most basic emotion we can choose to express or not.

To be in love is the result of a autonomic response. It's based on neurochemicals, pheremones, biases, strengths, vulnerabilities, needs... and completely influences you from the outside. You can't make someone "fall in love" with you, it goes against the concept of a person having free will.

If you stay in a relationship because of someone who isn't you or your partner, that's not love and it's not being in love. You mentioned you'd lose your son if you didn't stay.

This can be seen as either one of two possible things: custody or emotional blackmail. I can't say for certain which sounds more likely, as I've never cheated on my partners. I have, however, been with partners in relationships where the child was used as a weapon.

That's a much more important question to ask yourself, as it sounds like there was no love to begin with.