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Maladaptive daydreaming that mimics forgetfulness

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RachelBigby

Confident
I have a feel-good day when I got some sleep and have a little energy. I'm going to do it. I'm going to adult today. Take a shower, eat lunch, go outside.

My motivation gets me into the shower, then the space-out begins. Sometimes it's a novel in my head with lengthy complicated plots. Sometimes it's a theology idea. Sometimes it's psychological study.

I finish my shower, then I take off pacing in my bedroom with wet hair dripping on the floor. I know perfectly well I'm doing this. I just don't care. After a few minutes I think I should adult enough to put my hair in a towel. I make a little progress in the bathroom. Then something occurs to me that I have to write down, so I run to my laptop half-dressed. A few minutes later I tell myself I need to brush my hair. That seems to take an eternity while I'd rather be anywhere else.

Off to the kitchen for some orange juice (it's noon and I've had no breakfast). Crap, I didn't put on deodorant.

Time for a trip to the store. I take the long way just for fun, then sit in the parking lot for 20 minutes agonizing over what to make for dinner. Roam the store for an hour going in circles as existential thoughts entertain me. Finally come, and people say they were starting to get worried because a trip to the store doesn't take that long.

Time to cook dinner. I lose the plot several times.

Psychologist at the testing center asks me, do you tend to be forgetful or distracted? No! I'm perfectly lucid when I walk around half-dressed.

Oh dear.
 
Please don't take this the wrong way. I read this twice, and then stared out the window thinking about it for several minutes. That alone is unusual for me because those "staring out the window minutes" were not scheduled into my day and I might need to make them up...unless I make them part of my allotted forum time. Get the idea? You and I are on opposite ends of this spectrum, and neither end is good! A huge part of my life is about CONTROL. Trust me, as a parent that was never a good thing! As a totally messed up, crazy, abuse, trauma survivor hauling around decades of repressed ick - it's even worse. I live with chronic insomnia, so my to do list/not done list/could have done it better list plays on repeat all night. I'm up before 5:00 a.m. to get 'er done. That to do list plays over and over in my head, in my ears, and before my eyes all day. Do It! Do It! Do It! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Do it better! Do it better! Do It better! Your day sounded almost ...peaceful to me. I know it wasn't for you. That's why I asked you to please not take this the wrong way. The last thing I want to do is offend someone. My point is: 2 different brains, 2 different emotional problems. 😢
 
those "staring out the window minutes" were not scheduled into my day
My point is: 2 different brains, 2 different emotional problems.
<chuckling> I’m ADHD, staring out the window minutes/hours are always built into my day! 🤣

<grin> Then there are the days I’ve set aside entirely for daydreaming, & writing/art/planning, but?

@RachelBigby both of the above are part of why my daydreaming is adaptive & valued, rather than maladaptive & problematic.
 
A lot of the time I spend doing things like that is usually connected to executive dysfunction more than anything else. Time distortion, forgetfulness, all that stuff.

I have to remember to be kind to myself and think of it like an adventure....

How lucky is it that I get to have so many adventures in life?
 
Magical time thinking is a huge problem for me. I'm not running late, I can totally shower and get dressed in ten minutes, then drive across town with no slow traffic. And I can cook dinner in twenty minutes! And it'll take five minutes to add this note to my document! So many times I've looked up from my laptop and it's been three hours.
 
My biggest realizations about that were that most of the difference in the two situations were caused by me.
Now - I have a plan instead of "winging it" takes the I need to and the hurry and rush out of doing things because - theres enough time in my plan to do everything i need to and take time for me too.

If you haven't already, read this as I found it to be the biggest help I found when I first started here:
 
Yes I see. Lately I’ve noticed I tell myself, don’t get carried away and clean the whole house because you’ll tire out quicker than you think. I shuffle my chores like laundry and such so I don’t have too many tasks in one day.
 
Magical time thinking is a huge problem for me. I'm not running late, I can totally shower and get dressed in ten minutes, then drive across town with no slow traffic. And I can cook dinner in twenty minutes! And it'll take five minutes to add this note to my document! So many times I've looked up from my laptop and it's been three hours.
Yeah, me too! I have had severe dissociation, maladaptive daydreaming, etc all of my life. After 5 years of therapy I'm able to stay present longer, and direct my focus but I'm getting a little more symptomatic right now so yep, where did those hours go? I try to nip it in the bud by looking around when I'm at the computer, standing up and doing something physical and that helps a bit.
 
I have always been a daydreamer and like this..I did this alot taking hours to do the simplest task as I'd be lost in fantasy..Kathy wasn't co-con with me in the early days . One of the advantages of having 'others' I think is if they can do something more efficiently and quicker sometimes! ..so we would just switch and I'd go from appearing quite brainy and academic to totally scatty who could barely remember where I'd left my brain! ..I was often described as 'an enigma'and 'a puzzle' in my younger years by people who of course weren't realising they were seeing 2 completely different 'selves'.
 
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