I am right now, at the time of this post, involved with people who don't like me, and they are family. My sister died and old wounds of the others is surfacing at warp speed. Not so for me.
I am walking into this with a plan. I already know in their minds, I am 'guilty by association', but that does not make me guilty. That makes me being the one who is the 'truthteller' and they have never liked me. I will follow my plan with this upcoming situation, giving myself the blessing of backing out any time I chose to, for what ever reason, owing no one an explanation.
There are people here in the apartment complex who don't like me. The funny part, and I truly mean the 'laughing part', is none of these people know me, have ever had a conversation with me, ect. In situations like that, I can just go on about my business and not care one way or the other.
Meeting new people. My focus on meeting new people, is not whether they are going to like me, but whether or not I am going to like them. What are they going to be bringing to my life. Do I want these people behind my 'mask'? Sometimes yes, most times no, because we have nothing in common and there would be no loss.
Other people liking me or not, has nothing to do with how I feel about myself. But if I am in a situation where I know people don't like me, I am conscious of that fact, and make sure that I am cordial, try really hard to not take things personal, and if I do, I do not show it to them. I go home and work it out.
I look at all people as being my teachers. Some may only show me one thing I need to know. An answer to a long held question. Or some, like my family, show me how NOT to be in this world. And I am so very grateful I am not like them.
It's always going to be about me being true to myself. Now, all that being said, it took time to get here P. It would hurt me in the past when people didn't like me. Because at the time, I felt, unconsciously, I needed some kind of validation for even being a part of the human story.
The important thing I learned even then, it was important to me, that I went away from those encounters, not being upset with myself for not handling things perfectly. I called those people my 'practice people'. People who had been put in my life for me to 'practice' how to be me, and learn social cues, and see if it was me or them.
I made a lot of funny mistakes. They weren't funny at the time, they were embarrassing. But they became funny the more practice I had. Because, what others think of me is none of my business.
I was the Scapegoat of our family, so I was 'trained' to believe it was ME that prevented people from liking me. But the more 'practice people' I encountered, I came to realize, that some people just don't click. For many reasons.
So I came up with the thoughts of these people only being people I could practice with. Didn't matter if I got it 'right' or not. I had some distance from their judgement or perceived judgement. I could learn how to be me.
We are truly blessed if we have one or two people we can truly be ourselves with at all times. No one out there in this great big world, is 100% themselves in a crowd.
So be an 'observer' of yourself, be as true to yourself as you can be. Not saying , we shout in someones face because we disagree with them, which I would LIKE to do sometimes. And I don't stop myself because of what they would think of me, but because what I think of me is much more important.
And keep in mind, these people do not know how you feel about never letting anyone win or get one over on you. That is a thing you carry with you, like a purse your really don't like, but it it's familiar...
And I like you too P. You are one of the most honest posters here. I always see your truth with your words. So, let us know how the 'meeting with these people' goes... and no matter what, know you are liked by others. These are just your practice people !!!
