Undiagnosed Military wife... broken people living a lie.

[Random Meow]

Hello everyone. New and looking for advice and support i guess... I tend to keep to myself, a loner, i stray from social media, old friends and family. I can be a bit paranoid due to trust issues but i have a good sense about others.

I got married to a combat soldier at 19. Both of us came from broken messed up families living in the hood dealing with substance abuse, infidelity, mental health disorders, and suicide.

I've only been to 1 counseling session recently due to my college professor concern for me. It was a different experience talking to someone about me and my F'd situation but it brought relief for a short while.

My husband is my world but he is not loyal, yet I stay with him. Im tired, exhausted and finally want out, i feel weak and lost. Im glad i came upon this site hoping to vent and support others along the way. Im usually the listener but just hear me out sometime?? it will be nice to talk to humans.

 

[Esterio]

Hi there Random Meow welcome to this forum.
You have come to a good place to share with others and maybe find some answers and get some support that you desperately need. You are in a tuff spot. I can't tell you what to do but if your spouse is being unfaithful you have a big choice to make. Glad you came here I hope you find the help and support you need.
Peace be safe

 

[Random Meow]

@Esterio Thank you for the welcome. It will be nice to get support from others who are not biased and can relate to my situation. Being closed out from the world is only hurting me but i cant talk to my loved ones about my life. Thank you again i appreciate it. Be blessed :)

 

[Justmehere]

Welcome to the forums! We have a great supporter section where you can connect with other people wrestling through smillar issues.

Have you thought about going back to counseling?

 

[Random Meow]

Thank you @Justmehere! Im considering it, but not sure.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

The "broken people living a lie" part of your title is quite profound in my eyes. That pretty much explains society.

You mentioned the counseling session brought relief for a short while...imagine having that intermittent relief on a more regular basis. Being able to fully express yourself and receive help/support in working through it is such a valuable part of the process. One I struggled with for a long time due to receiving piss poor help initially. Made me hesitant and quite jaded.

I eventually found a free option at the local shelter for sexual and domestic abuse, and it's been incredibly healing...more so than ALL of the others combined. I often have to write things down I wish to discuss because once I'm in the session, especially if I'm experiencing great difficulty, I always forget to mention some of the most important things. I print out my list and make a copy for the counselor, too, and take notes.

Best wishes for feeling some healing. Glad you became a part of the community.

 

[Justmehere]

What makes you unsure about counseling?

There is a saying in many recovery circles that we are only as sick as our secrets. Counseling is a place where we no longer have to live the lie anymore.... over time, counseling can provide profound long term relief and might be able to help you live the kind of life you want to live. If a professor is expressing concern, it's likely others are worried too. Everyone needs support sometimes. :hug:

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome!

 

[Sabot72]

Hey Random Meow, nice to meet you. Read your brief post on what's been going on in your life. I can relate, and been through a quite more darkness. Real darkness.. Not taking away from the pain that you're going through. I also come from a broken home and been exposed to alot of traumatic situations, starting from third grade to late in my late thirties, hitting wall after wall when it came to relationships and jobs. Sometimes, it's hard to imagine what your life would be like when the one who holds your heart, is no longer in the equation. Love can also blind us to where we continue to put off the one critical and essential move we need to make in order to start navigating to that path of happiness. The good news is, there is actually a path to that place of happiness and peace. The hardest part is that first step of removing yourself from where your at now. Once you've made that first CRUCIAL step, everything will start falling into place. It will be a little rough at first because we have to work at it, but reward is the best feeling you will ever experience. It is do-able and the main ingredient to reaching that place is to stay hungry for it, HAPPINESS.