That's lovely. I remember times when I was feeling down, a smile from a stranger completely turned me around. I think behind the hot chocolate was a gesture of care. TBH, I wasn't thinking of those moments in moral support. The trouble I have is when friends assume that I want company and attention, but inside I'm baffled and don't even know how to respond. I didn't say family because I think everyone in my immediate family are also stumped by moral support.The young bloke sitting behind the cash register, ever vigilant to robbery, had seen me there, in the car, for many hours & though initially hesitant, when I asked for the drink - he gave it to me for free saying that he figured something was badly wrong for me to be sleeping there.
That's what I'm wondering. Is it a callous or was it just something I never had. I feel very triggered an emotional by the idea of not getting love from my bf. But I have no emotion around not getting moral support. So was wondering if that's not just in my dna.Of course the callous is learned. Injury on injury creates callous.
I definitely need moral support when there's a flying roach in the apartment. LOL. I had that happen and I would definitely have appreciated somebody swooping in and hunting that monster instead of me.And last night there was a huge roach flying around in here (ugh...and ewwww...the only bug I can't stand - I never have them, so I don't know what made him decide now is the time) - could have used "moral support" from someone who would get rid of the damn thing. LOL
Do you think that moral support is a need like love? I get triggered and dysregulated by the sense that I'm unloveable, but I have no emotion around not getting moral support.It's sad when kids are in a position they never learn those basics *should* be in their lives... and that they aren't there for them.
I have deep-seated triggers about abandonment and get easily triggered to think I am unloveable. At times, I can feel my brain stem pulse, and I get flooded. But again, the only emotion that not getting moral support is kind of like disdain that anyone really "needs" it. At the same time, maybe the trigger here is that my mind blanks out. I know that can be a response to ptsd - fight or flight. But don't they both leave emotional traces?Yes but it's more sad to go from not aware to thinking you had it and realizing you never did, now or then. Then there's unnecessary grief, and disappointment, and fear and sadness and regret. Trusting you have it when you do is difficult enough, trusting you have it when you don't, is a back turned when you are most in need. That does feel like abandonment all over, & if nothing else as an adult a reminder and confirmation, and not worth the price or risk, IMHO. It's vulnerability followed & shattered by grief & sadness, of which there is enough without.