More Odd Trauma Stuff In Therapy

[Tinyflame]

Yes I'm surprised to find I recognize shoes & voices & coughs/ sniffles probably easier than people's features.

I guess it would be funny if T's thought to put something sweet or funny or disarming/ comforting on the floor lol.

 

[stillstanding2]

Yes I'm surprised to find I recognize shoes & voices & coughs/ sniffles probably easier than people's fea...

Aha @Junebug! Just realized that I do something similar with my T. Some years ago, while road tripping to Taos, I bought a little native-made drum as a present for my T. A beautiful thing with a pair of stylized butterflies in earth colors, complete with a hide drumstick. She loves it and it goes very well with her Southwest style office. When I gave it to her, we noticed that on the back, the artist had signed it with the title: "Butterflies of Change". Both of us laughed that our real interpretation was "Fear of Change".

The drum couldn't have been more appropriate. I just realized that she keeps the drum on the floor just past her chair, where I often glance during our sessions. She has said that others have found drumming it comforting and others just admire it. But I wonder too if how she places the drum is more of a signal to me. Some people keep a teddy bear or other object there, and I have my drum. Just hadn't thought it through. Thanks.

 

[katz]

I read about the eye contact thing, and noticing the details while your in therapy. (I do it too, while in therapy ) When a child is hurt, especially by a parent. The child not only blames her/him self, but they the notice details around them. That way they have something to remember. For example, if Daddy hurt me and was wearing his red tie. Then the next time he wears that red tie, she/he will try to stay away. If he does hurt her again. She will pick something else to remember, and so on. I somtimes remember what he had for breakfast that morning that he hurt me. The child will look and notice lots and lots of things, smells, colors, the weather, even what they themselves are wearing that day. My sense of smell is very, very strong. As an adult, I can remember smells from my childhood home. Some of them are good, and some are bad.

I also find myself remembering and noticing things about people and places when I see them. Just like your eyes darting around you, you are looking at the whole picture. Room, personal expressions, colors, and ect. ( one of the things that I found out is that I focus on the corner of the ceiling when I would dissociate. I can remember trying to "escape" to that corner while they / he hurt me.)

This is why a lot of us survivors make such good friends. We can notice details about someone, like a sad expression, and know how to react to it. Because we can relate to it and know what "we" would want someone to do for us.

One day I watched my mom go upstairs to comfort my neice. I watched her face as she came back down...no expression at all. I immediately went up and knew exactly what the child needed to hear and feel from an adult. We both came down a few minutes later. I also have found out that this skill--you should call it that--is very good to have as a secretary or office manager. I am able to watch and listen to the conversation in the room and know what the boss might need or want, even before he asks for it. Give yourself some credit ladies. If you look for things you know how to do very well, you can turn them around and utilize them.

 

[watundah]

There is a lot of truth in that. As an artist and photographer, I know as a keen observer and with an eye for details, this "hyperawareness" can prove to be a great tool.