I have been stressed more than usual lately. My 1-year-old has entered into an incredibly frustrating phase, where he throws tantrums and whines a lot for no apparent reason. He is also nearly walking now, which makes it a lot easier to watch him.
He was having a bad day today, which meant I was having a bad day. Constant whining, refusing to eat. He woke up shortly after I put him to bed, when I needed to start my shift at work. I went in there to tend to him and after realizing I had no idea what the hell was wrong and why he's crying now, I just sat down and started talking to him. On the verge of tears, I said, "I don't know how I'm going to do this. You're always unhappy. I don't know what you need anymore, I don't think I'll ever be a good mother for you."
And he stopped what he was doing, crying, and crawled over to me, stood up right in front of me and threw his arms around my neck and hugged me. And gave me this look like he understood exactly what I was saying and he didn't want me to cry. If I could capture that moment in an image somehow and get it tattooed on my body somewhere, I would.
He was having a bad day today, which meant I was having a bad day. Constant whining, refusing to eat. He woke up shortly after I put him to bed, when I needed to start my shift at work. I went in there to tend to him and after realizing I had no idea what the hell was wrong and why he's crying now, I just sat down and started talking to him. On the verge of tears, I said, "I don't know how I'm going to do this. You're always unhappy. I don't know what you need anymore, I don't think I'll ever be a good mother for you."
And he stopped what he was doing, crying, and crawled over to me, stood up right in front of me and threw his arms around my neck and hugged me. And gave me this look like he understood exactly what I was saying and he didn't want me to cry. If I could capture that moment in an image somehow and get it tattooed on my body somewhere, I would.
