My Fault

[EveHarrington]

NO!

All of his bad behavior?

That's on him!

It's writing on the wall. You now know that he is an abusive jerk and your child never has to know him. (That's awesome, right?) I mean what if he stuck around for a few years and gave your child the gift of an abusive childhood? (Horrible stuff.) Cut all ties and never look back. The best of life lies ahead!

 

[Friday]

Thanks, cherie. :) I get confused sometimes.

So... I'm more than willing to run with the possibility that it's your fault that your baby will not have an abusive reprehensible person as a father.

Option A) The idea that it's your fault because you're such a despicable person... I think you might need to look up the word "despicable" . Someone who drives abusive pricks away from them & their child just by breathing? By being themselves? Asshole Kryptonite? :D Hell, yeah. That's something, but it sure as hell ain't despicable. Even if it only works on assholes who would hurt their kids, where it matters the most, that's serious f*cking bullet dodging Shazaam! of some kind.

Option B) That you flat out refuse to allow anyone to abuse your child, no matter the hardship it creates for you? I like that one a bit better. It has better legs.

But whether AssholeKryptonite or Strength&Determination... Or some combo of both? How do you explain that to your child? Easy. I love you. More than anything or anyone else in the world, I love you. Even before you were born.

What I'm not willing to run with is the idea that you have so much control over another person that it's somehow your fault he (or anyone else) is an abusive prick??? That's some battered-wife, it's my fault he hit me, thinking right there. Nip that, cherie. Far too easy a trap to fall into.

 

[Casey_03]

Thanks to everyone for replying to this. I know you're all right, but still go back and forth between experiencing battered-wife thinking ....

 

[Stickler]

Assholes don't have it tattooed on their forehead, unfortunately. They hide it well.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

He abandoned me then bullied me in an attempt to force me to get an abortion, then later in an attempt...

Casey, it sounds like he did you a huge favour. Your child will be so much better off without this man in his/her life.